Become a Patron!

Challenge #01923-E099: They Call Her Queen Badass

"How in the world could a single bottle of alcohol render nearly a dozen of Her Ancient Majesty's finest - oh, and the Millennial Queen Herself! - to nothing but a scattered roomful of unconscious drunks?!"

The taller woman examined the elaborately-decorated crystalline decanter, and then the glasses around each snoring soldier. "Hmm... yeah... I'd say fourteen-thousand-year-old firewine would probably do the trick better than anything..." She paused, re-counting one pile of glasses and then looked back at her partner with a smirk. "On the upside, kudos to Her Majesty for seemingly downing the most shots of them all - looks like she nailed sixteen; most I've ever managed personally was eight..." -- Anon Guest

Humanity is only two and a half million years old. Agriculture as a concept is far younger than that. Nevertheless, they have devoted an astonishing amount of the technological arc to alcohol. Brewing it, distilling it, making stronger and stronger concoctions. Making it tasty.

Galactic citizens, upon finding this out, often wonder aloud what humanity had to do with primitive rocket fuel before they had invented rockets. And then there is a significant amount of stunned silence when they learn that humans enjoy drinking it. Despite the fact that it is obviously a dangerous toxin that impairs brain function.

To which humanity says that that was the point and they enjoy temporary debilitation and the case for humanity's collective insanity is proven once more. And then there's stuff like fourteen-thousand-year firewine.

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 12 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!