But I don' _wanna_...

We need...

We need a decent dinner. We need cream because we're running out. We need snackables for the kids' lunchboxes. We need to find a local source of good eggs that won't break the bank because trundling to North Lakes every third day to get them is going to drain my budget faster than anything else.

Economically, I long for the days when we could just pop on over to the Golden Circle factory outlet and just get boxes of whatever and not care. But... I was also spending too much on my meds, so that's something I need to ponder.

My budget's going to change over the next few weeks. Because we no longer have half a cow corpse in our freezer. And it might be some time before we get another stash like that. Especially since I did a whole bunch of stew so we'd have some go-to food for the interim.

Because I can have weeks when I don't want to do the thing.

Just like today, but that's another whine for a different cheese.

We need a lot of stuff and I had been saving money on the get-it-when-I-need-it model. But no more. Because now I need to buy proteins, and those are the most expensive things on the shopping list.

So even though I'm going no further than the local shopping labyrinth, I'm dreading it. Because fuel costs. Meat costs. Veggies cost. Cheese costs. Cream costs when you want the good stuff. And I need to resupply with Mascarpone.

This week will be based entirely around what I can get at Aldi's first, and source the rest from wherever.

And to top it all off, my asthma is just not going away. I expected to get better, but no. It's getting worse.

And then there's a whole bunch of inertia centred around the fact that I know I'm going to need more money than I have. And spending it all is a free ticket to Depression Town because I can't firkin save for my New Compy Fund that way and suddenly my entire life just... sucks.

My energy levels drop to a fraction of what they once were. I do less. I feel guilty about doing less. And down and down I go, round and round I go...

To try and ameliorate this, I picked out some of my fancy clothing. Only to realise just now that said fancy wear is all black.


Well screw it. I'm an Addams for the day. I'm going to spend too much. I'm not going to save anything this week. And we will still survive.