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Success?

on real life, Dear Diary, Recipe, I'm Exhausted, Wonder Why

My Da always used to say, "Nothing succeeds like a toothless budgie," and none of us could stop him. Well, the much-gassed-about nommables recipe is technically a success. In that Beloved likes them.

It is NOT a success for my energy levels.

Today's recipe is... well...

Expectation:

Reality:

But never fear, dear readers, I shall document how this absolute disaster unfolded and what I plan to do to make it better next time.

Noms

Implements:

  • Measuring spoons and cups
  • 2 mixing bowls and spoons
  • Baking tray and paper
  • Convenient, oven-like heat source

Ingredients:

  • 3 tsp pumpkin pie spices1
  • 1.5 tsp Stevia
  • 1 cup pumpkin puree2
  • 0.25 cup almond butter
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 tbsp coconut oil
  • 0.25 cup coconut milk
  • 2 cups rolled oats
  • 1.5 tsp baking powder
  • 0.5 cup dark chocolate chips (optional)
  • 2 cups almond slivers

Method:

  • Preheat oven to 350F/180C and line a tray with baking paper
  • Mix the spices, sweetener, pumpkin puree and nut butter (taste to make sure you can definitely detect both spices and sweetness. If you can't, add more sweetener and spice)
  • In a separate bowl, combine eggs, coconut milk and oil
  • Fold in the pumpkin mixture3
  • Fold in oats, baking powder, choc chips, and half of the nuts4 VERY GENTLY
  • At this point, the batter should be the consistency of brownie batter5
  • "Pour into the pan", they say in the original version. I recommend balling it up into mouthful-sized balls and rolling the result in the remaining almonds before placing them in the tray.
  • Bake for 45-60 mins or until toasty brown. Defend from predation until cool
  • Store in a sealed container in a cool, dry place. Assuming it lasts that long.

Be warned: your house will smell firkin delicious when this stuff is ready. If you're a Spoonie, get help. Like seriously, have someone to help with all the tough stuff.

I went the extra step and manufactured my own dark choc chips. I got some high-quality, high-cocoa baking chocolate in bar form and grated about half of it into yet another container.

So of course, I'm absolutely knackered from the effort and the next time [they want a next time!] I will be enlisting help or they're not firkin happening so ner.

Today... I am saving all of my Spoons for the trip down to Tom's Confectionary Warehouse so the little darlings and I can get some bloody cheap sugar in bulk. Tomorrow... I might yet summon the energy to start those earrings for the two lovely people who entered my followers' contest so very long ago, now.

  1. Note for non-americans. You can make your own pumpkin spice by mixing: 3 tbsp cinnamon, 2 tsp ginger, 2 tsp nutmeg, 1.5 tsp allspice, and 1.5 tsp ground cloves in a sealable container and then using some of that. ↩

  2. For non-americans, take one Kent (Jap) or Butternut pumpkin, pierce the skin with a sturdy fork, and microwave the entire thing for twenty minutes or until soft. Scoop out the seeds/pith and place the pumpkin mush in a bowl. Blitz with a mixing wand. ↩

  3. This might actually work in colder climates. Reminder that I was cooking this in the middle of the Aussie heat and the egg stuff was pure liquid. Nevertheless, I took this to mean "stir slowly" ↩

  4. Which I did all at once. This might have been a mistake. ↩

  5. At this point, I should note that as an Australian, I can count the number of times I've made brownies on one finger. It clung to the spoon and I thought that was "okay" ↩