Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #00253: I'm Sorry, We Can't Help You

Greater Deregulation’s more esoteric moments.

“But I don’t have any of my papers. My house burned down.”

“If you had signed up for the TrakMe program…”

“I had. My parents signed me up just after I got a name. I’ve been trying to sign on with or without their help for forty years.”

“You can voluntarily sign up for the TrakMe program at any time,” recited the sallow, callow creature on the other end of the counter. “You need three forms of ID and a blood sample.”

“Which part of ‘house fire’ did you fail to understand? And it needs more than that. I know. I had the three forms of ID and the blood sample and I was still rejected. Turns out I needed to be identified by a non-relative who’s known me for at least ten years.”

“That must mean you’d been red-flagged.” Tap-tap-tap-tap. “Reasons for red-flagging include a criminal history,”

“Nope.”

“Association with a criminal,”

“Not knowingly.”

“Relation to a criminal,”

“Nope. No family left to be criminals.”

“Resident in a criminal zone?”

“How the hell would anyone find that out?”

“You’d need to be on the TrakMe program to gain the benefit of being aware of criminal residential areas.”

“How the hell can I get on the TrakMe program to get those benefits if I can’t get on it without those benefits?”

The creature behind the counter ignored her. “Your face has been processed. Please list your former residential addresses in order.”

She’d been through this too many times. It had become a song that she had to resist singing. The rhythm pushed through, regardless.

Stare. “Uhm. I don’t… type that fast.”

She slowed it right down. Laboriously reciting the numbers and spellings and streets and what those streets were now.

“Ah. Hum. You stayed primarily in West Esterbrook.”

“Yeah, it was recommended by our TrakMe administrator.”

“West Esterbrook has been randomly selected as an area of potential criminality.”

“Since…?”

“West Esterbrook has been randomly selected. The -uh- date is… Twenty years before you were born?”

“Why would a TrakMe administrator recommend someone stay there?”

The creature’s console bleeped. “Ah. Yes. We can not help you. I’m sorry.”

“So how do I get hold of at least some ID? I need work! I need food!”

“Please keep your voice down.”

“I’m starving.”

“Your… bloodline… has been randomly selected as a potential criminal element. I’m sorry. We can’t help you.”

“So… what? I turn myself in at the nearest prison-factory?”

Smile. “That would be incredibly helpful. Thankyou.”

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Challenge #00252: Be Careful What You Wish For

Agent Pertwee and the first moments he realized that his job sucked for reasons he didn’t expect.

[AN: Once again, it’s Jane Pertwee :) ]

The FBI had been covertly watching this school for some time. Now, with the Mutant Registration Act, it was watching more overtly. As in, agents in the field, tailing their respective suspects, and making sure that a bunch of teenagers with superpowers….

Well…

Didn’t wind up acting like a bunch of

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womenwhokickass: Mariam "Al-Astrolabiya" Al-Ijliya: Why she kicks ass She lived in the tenth century in Aleppo, Syria and was a famous...

womenwhokickass:

Mariam “Al-Astrolabiya” Al-Ijliya: Why she kicks ass

  • She lived in the tenth century in Aleppo, Syria and was a famous scientist who designed and constructed astrolabes.
  • Astrolabes were global positioning instruments that determine the position of the sun and planets, so they were used in the fields of astronomy, astrology and horoscopes. They were also used to tell time and for navigation by finding location by latitude and longitude. They were also used to find the Qibla, prayer times, and determine

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ATTN: Beta readers

I have just sent out Book 1, version 1.2 for reading and reviewing.

If you have volunteered as a beta reader, but not received an email from me, you need to get back to me with an email address that works.

I am cleaning out all the non-responsive emails from my Beta-readers list.

I want this book out in the world ASAP. Preferably in time for All Hallows’ Read. AKA this October.

The clock is ticking.

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Challenge #00251: Terror Watch

Agent Pertwee and his take on watching the terror with the textiles.

[AN: Agent Pertwee is a girl :P]

Agent Jane Pertwee sighed. She’d signed up for Terror Watch because it was the fast-track past the glass ceiling and on to better things. She should have known that the dicks upstairs would have picked the one least likely to do anything worthy of garnering promotion by stopping it in its tracks.

Right now, she was holding up a wall watching

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Challenge #00250: Birds of a Feather

Kitty/alwaysfemale!Colossus.

“I’m here!” Kitty announced. This was supposed to be a place full of people like her. Like, where was the welcome committee?

BAMF! “Ah, hubches madchen,” A blue demon in a black and red outfit appeared in an almost stereotypical puff of sulphurous smoke. “Pleased to make your acquaintance,” it reached for her with a freakish, three-fingered hand.

Kitty screamed.

A giant, metal hand held off the demon by encapsulating its

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joriontel: gailsimone: ohmagrathea: Gail Simone's short story for the Time Warp #1 anthology. I'm not a huge fan of Simone's ongoing work...

joriontel:

gailsimone:

ohmagrathea:

Gail Simone’s short story for the Time Warp #1 anthology. I’m not a huge fan of Simone’s ongoing work but I have to say, her short stories are wonderful. Thank you for this one. 

Art by Gael Bertrand, published by Vertigo.

I was very proud of this story, with amazing art by Gael Bertrand. My first Vertigo piece!

That was beautiful.

AWESOME!

I love a good paradox. This is a fucking brilliant paradox.

::bows in the

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Challenge #00249: What Monsters Hath Science Wrought?

Catbug.

Mythos Entertainment Inc. was working on all manner of new things. Their bio-labs were cooking up foetuses at the rate of knots.

Graham Ptolowitz stared at the thing in the pen. This was the angel/fairy production team, and the abomination before him had originally been a cat.

“We were working on a hexapodal mammalian life-form,” said Dewitt. “So splicing and activating the hexapodal gene was primary priority.”

“We did attempt bat wings, since they are

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Whoever came up with this wins all the pies :) I didn’t vote for him. Nobody likes him. The only reason he got in was Rudd the Dudd...

Whoever came up with this wins all the pies :)

I didn’t vote for him.

Nobody likes him.

The only reason he got in was Rudd the Dudd announcing he was going to raise taxes just before the election.

Smart. Not.

Fingers crossed that Abbott is a one-term wonder.

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Challenge #00248: More Deadlier...

Magnificently mundane…and yet still formidable.

It is said that women are like tea leaves. You don’t know how strong they can be until you put them in hot water. Mavis had always laughed at that. She was as mild as milk! Meek as mud.

Until the invaders came.

She’d just turned her back for a second. Let go of the pram for just long enough to grab a can of beans. And when she turned back,

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Challenge #00247: Craftsmanship

Ordinary excellence.

“If you want it to last long, hire an expert. If you want it to last for long enough, hire a JOAT.” – Galactic saying.

Rael got most of his income from people who wanted their patches to last long enough. As in, long enough to make a profit out of this trip. Or, long enough to get me back home. And, in some cases, long enough so I can trade this heap in for maximum due.

He

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