A cooking show for all of us with allergies, medical conditions and on medication which won’t let us eat common items. Grapefruit, garlic and members of the cabbage family come to mind.
“Welcome to the cooking show that we all love, but chefs love to hate! It’s Can’t Eat, Won’t Eat!”
Applause and hoots.
“Our judges tonight include somebody on bloodthinners, he’s also allergic to the entire cabbage family and won’t eat onion!”
The judge waved.
“As you see, he has the three magic buttons. I don’t like that…”
The
judge pressed the relevant button. A cartoonish vomiting sound carried
over the audio and a green Mr Yuck face lit up on the screen.
“I’m allegic to that…”
This time, it was an ambulance siren and a medical sigil.
“And this stuff will kill me.”
A brief seranade of the death march and a skull and crossbones.
“And
we also have our regular judges, someone who’s allergic to alcohol of
any kind,” whistles and cheers, “and The Baby Tongue.” This regular
judge had an extra button that made a ‘waa waa’ sound and added a dummy
to the screen. “As always, our celebrity chefs have a fully stocked
kitchen with everything they could possibly need. And we only tell the
chefs once! They have to–”
The audience joined in, “Pay attention or pay the penalty!”
“That’s right! Get it very wrong, and our celebrity winds up in the sin bin.”
People watched to see if any chefs actually made it all the way towards making a complete meal. So far, nobody had.
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