“Don’t worry. It’ll all go according to plan,” I reassured her that my plan was flawless.
Now I just needed to come up with one.
Rule one of coming up with a plan: work with what you’ve got. In this case, two rubber bands and a paperclip, and the clothes she stood up in if she was really that desperate.
Rule two: The environment is also what you’ve got. Nigh-seamless corridors made out of something that conserved energy by putting it back into the thing that hit it. One ricochet could, theoretically, wipe out the entire ship.
Alouette got a wicked smirk as she removed the rubber bands from her wrists and reconfigured the paperclip. “Did you know that there are reasons why they’ve successfully banned projectile weapons in space?” she said conversationally.
“What?” Princess Gaart made the universal what-the-hell-is-this human-doing face. “Everyone knows this…”
Alouette strung the rubber bands between her index and pinkie finger and gave the enemy the Devil Sign as she drew back her missile. “When I say ‘duck’…” she warned. Aloud, to the aliens, “I have a projectile weapon and I’m not afraid to use it!” She drew back the adjusted paperclip.
“Listen to the human,” shrieked Princess Gaart. “They’re level four Deathworlders!”
It was the first time she’d bluffed her way out of a pickle with a weapon that might just actually work for a change. And possibly the first time anyone had threatened anyone else with a paperclip.
Rule three: It’s not a dense idea if it actually works.
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