Good news: We figured out what the hell was going wrong with my Friendo's diet
Bad news: It involved a carefully-constructed meal that was guaranteed not to cause a reaction... that caused a reaction.
What the flying fuck news: I've essentially been poisoning my friend for a week and a half.
Yup. Flying in the face of how the human body works, my friend has a negative reaction to grease, fats and oils. And literally cannot eat them without changing address to the nearest loo. They have to eat the carbs because their body just won't process the stuff that the human body firkin evolved to process.
Conclusion: My friend is not entirely human.
I hereby welcome with open arms our new overlords from the Nerdnax Empire.
In other good/bad/wtff news:
Good news: I got a semblance of internet back
Bad news: via my firkin PHONE
What the flying fuck news: Because the local internet connection has gone to absolutely firkin useless levels.
I suspect that our access has been artificially inhibited in order to sell the forthcoming NBN a little bit better. Perhaps the idiots moguls in charge are expecting glowing reviews in the comparison to the 80's level internet speeds we seem to be suffering under at the moment.
Too bad for them that nerds like me know a few work-arounds and will not be fooled for a second. I suspect it's going to get a little bit Monty Python around this deal before the smoke clears.
I'm off to post this week's Patreon stuff before my data's all et up.