So here’s a little run-down about what’s been going on in our lives.
Telstra: Here’s another $500 bill we didn’t tell you about until it was like WAY the fuck overdue. PAY OR ELSE
Beloved: WTFF? These are internet charges we don’t bloody use. Cancel the fuck outta that service.
Me: [rings up Telstra] ya guise get rid of that firkin internet thing. It’s a total drag and shit
Telstra: Righto [cuts off the ENTIRE FUCKING PHONE LINE]
Us: WTFF?
Me: [three hours on hold] I’m’s rip you a new one you firkin shiznits. I said cancel the internet, not the entire fucking phone.
Telstra: Whoa, cool your jets. It’ll be back on before… uh… closing of the day [barely makes it by one second]
Me: There’s still no internets!
Beloved: Ya they cut of the ADSL codes on our line
Me: [another fucking three hours on fucking hold. These guys charge $500 for shitty internet and they can’t bother to keep static out of the fucking hold music, the bastards] FIX IT YOU FUCKING SHITS!
Telstra: Sure. What expensive internets plan would you like with that.
Me: Fuck you sideways with a pineapple, bro. I just want freakin’ internet access. We have a plan. Stop being dillholes and give us access to that plan back.
Telstra: Well fuck you times infinity. That’s not our freakin’ department.
Me: The next time you fuckshits want my money you can firkin whistle for it. Assholes
Telstra: I know you are, but what am I?
Yeah.
So…. now we’re waiting for our new ISP to get THEIR digit out and supply a firkin ADSL code to our line that Telstra still technically owns.
Fun.
And I’m borrowing the interwebs off of Beloved’s mobile owing to claims of infinite data. Ha. Beloved has yet to see the sheer volumes of data I go through for my day job.
Speaking of, I’d better get right on that. It’s quarter to ten PM, I’m up past my bedtime, and I promised peeps several things.
AIGH!
