Feelings

A 1-post collection

Inevitable Entropy

Entropy is defined as the state in which things take the least energy to remain so.

Water follows the path of least resistance. So do electrons.

And, apparently, so does house-mess. It’s very simple to observe. Especially in a house containing at least one hoarder.

Five people live in our house. Only one cleans more than their own mess. When that one gets sick or incapacitated… Everything is left behind.

The “not mine” mess piles up. It gets in the road. It gets shifted about as stuff gets searched for. Things get mixed in that don’t possibly belong. Garbage bins overflow and get neglected. Rubbish mixes with stuff that should be kept. New stuff is bought to replace the old stuff that can’t be found for the ever-growing drifts of “not mine”.

And when the cleaner - in this case, me - can finally return to it all… It’s a daunting heap that intimidates them out of even starting.

And let me tell you, the last thing a recovering Designated Cleaner needs is to get back up to face a house full of weeks worth of hard work formed up into mess-mountains.

In my case, it can lead to depression that leads to me doing sporadic, token movements to at least keep the family in clean clothes, plates, cutlery and whatnot. And in the meantime it all gets deeper and more depressing.

Now that it’s currently all better, I’m deeply grateful for the help of Powerhouse. I am waiting on a hubby and Mostly Shiftless to finish what they started in Mayhem’s room - something that’s almost three weeks away.

My entire life is wobbling on the centre point of circumstances beyond my control, and I’m starting to deeply hate it.

I can’t do a lot. I can keep on top of the laundry. I can stay on top of the dish washing. I can keep the floor clear of debris. I can keep chugging along.

I can’t stop myself from falling into depressive funks because they never get anything done. But I can do the things that need doing.

Because nobody else will.

I’m tired of constantly fighting entropy on my own.