“On most airplanes, in an emergency oxygen masks will be deployed from above your seat. This is an Australian airplane however; in an emergency, we will deploy drop bears from above your seat.”
Either way, the lack of oxygen problem is quickly solved. – RecklessPrudence
“What? Why would you do something that barbaric?” Esterhazy boggled.
“Well, the oxygen systems are tied to the landing gear, see,” Shirl expanded without missing a beat. “If there’s no oxygen, then the landing gear’s got to be buggered and, all things considered, the drop bears are a more merciful death.”
“I… thought… the drop bears were endangered?”
“Endangered? Yeah sure. But they’re also tough as guts, mate.”
“There you are,” said Darleen. “Have you finished bullshitting the noob yet?”
“Yeah, nah; I was up to the screaming spiders when ‘e bloody derailed me.”
“Bullsh– Do you mean to tell me you’ve been having me on?” The look on Esterhazy’s face was more than priceless.
Both mad Australians grinned. “Aw, it’s all right. We’re just havin’ a lend.”
“Yeah,” added Shirl. “Wanted to sneak up on ya and scare th’ crap outta ya.”
“Here’s an actual fact sheet of the local things that can kill you.”
“Madam,” said Esterhazy, “This is a fact novella.”
“Yeah, it’s a bit thick,” shrugged Shirl.
“Just a bit,” agreed Darleen.
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