“So that’s how I accidentally wound up in an alien porn film.”
Bailing Hwell out of legal custody was nothing new. What was new was that he was naked, save for layers of assorted, melted and melting cheese. All of which he was busy licking off of his hairy arms.
Ax'and'l looked down at Hwell and his expanding mess and squeaked, “In your own words: what the flying hell, Hwell?”
Hwell continued chewing a long string of something chunky from his left arm. “Uhm… It’s kind of a long story…”
It involved being drunk, a usual state of affairs whenever Hwell hit a port. It also involved three unregistered sexual therapists (one slightly underage), an ‘underground’ film crew, several varieties of irradiated cheese (of course), fifteen tubs of similarly irradiated strawberry yoghurt, twelve different ungulates, a case of aphrodisiacs and a crowd of onlookers taking bets. And, for some reason, a dozen live mice and a pumpkin.
“And then I woke up and they told me I was booked for filming pornography without proper licensing. It was an accident, I swear!”
Ax'and'l turned to the officer in charge, “How many more incidents like this before I’m allowed to call him my pet and keep him on a short leash?”
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