There was that one time with the limes, the rhododendron hedge and the grand piano that all parties agreed never to speak of again…
Oh, the potential for each of these. I don’t know which universe to play with. So I’ll play with all of them :)
There is a certain genius for mischief. People who possess it are generally pranksters and the geniuses at it can make their chosen victims laugh at their own predicament.
Two such geniuses, Rael found, should never go together.
He already had enough on his personal agenda with Shayde, a creature who possessed magics in advance of current technology. But it got infinitely worse when the Enterprising Endeavour was in port and Hwell Barrow escaped the watchful eye of his saurian business partner, Ax'and'l.
Hwell had initially tried, according to all reports, to ‘blarney’ Shayde. Shayde, on the other hand, spotted him coming from a mile off and turned him down flat in ways he did not understand until ten minutes after she left the room. Things escalated quickly from there. He sent her chocolate-coated insects. She sent him caramel encrusted lizards. He somehow managed to dope her shower head and dyed her hair teal. She somehow got into the Enterprising Endeavour’s systems and dyed the air fuchsia. He set a flock of guinea pigs loose in her garden. She shipped live cargo to a very distant port… live cargo that liked to eat the containers she put them in, and breed like insects.
There was that one time with the limes, the rhododendron hedge and the grand piano that all parties agreed never to speak of again… Nobody could prove who did it.
The Enterprising Endeavour was in dock again. Which meant that Lyr, being both a precognitive psychic and a keen observer, had once again drafted Rael as bodyguard and reliable eye-witness. Which, in turn, meant he had to move his warming tank in for something Shayde called a 'sleep-over’.
“Ye serious. Ye never heard o’ smores?”
“Never,” said Rael. For all he knew, this was another Drop Bear story.
“Ah, yer in fer a treat,” Shayde opened her door.
Hwell had escaped his guard and managed to completely fill Shayde’s quarters with peculiar, helium-filled balloons.
“Condoms,” said Shayde as they escaped their former confines and began drifing into the corridor. “He cannae resist the classics…”
X-Men Evolution Universe
“What are you doin’, Tallwater?” Logan growled.
“Nuh-thiiiinng…” Sara almost sang. She was up to her elbows in bits and bobs, building a Device.
“You’re up against Fixit again, ain’t'cha?”
Sara put her screwdriver down so she could face him. She’d gone from aqua to very much more than a little bit blue-ish. And she was almost glowing. “I owe him one.”
Logan shook his head. “You been on his case ever since he accidentally sent you jauntin’ dimensions.”
“And he has the nerve to retaliate!” Sara was snippy, and when she got snippy, her Bostonian accent got thicker. “And he’s better at it… Well… There was that one time with the limes, the rhododendron hedge and the grand piano that all parties agreed never to speak of again…”
“Y'never thought of callin’ a truce and working on the problem?”
Sara glared at him. “That,” she sniffed, “requires him to apologise first.”
And, because I love it so much…. Dresden Codak’s X-Men Reboot Universe
In the opinion of Pepper Potts, there are some kind of geniuses there should never be two of, let alone two of in the same general area. Like, an entire continent.
Her life was interesting enough just trying to keep a leash on Tony Stark. Playboy multimillionaire genius inventor and any other nouns you had to spare. But now there was Sara Adrien. Mutant chameleon creative genius and a lot of other spare nouns, and a few of them actually polite.
Tony hated her for two reasons. One: she re-designed his holographic emitter vambrace so that it could both disguise a person for longer and fit into a rather clunky-looking sports watch. Two: she had found out his full name and used it against him whenever she was ticked off with him.
Well, not exactly hate hate… but not quite as mature as friendly rivalry, either. It was hard to maintain friendly rivalry with someone who had subconsciously absorbed the theories of ninjitsu as a method of getting the pranks past both Tony’s and Pepper’s paranoid security measures.
The nanobot packaging had been the last straw. Not that it disassembled its wrapping paper form and then spread anywhere it detected Tony’s DNA, but that it graffitto’d, Tony Stark is a louse! anywhere it had enough clear space.
And he couldn’t sue her for libel, because she’d paid to have a new species of louse named after him.
Pepper couldn’t see anything that would make them stop. There was that one time with the limes, the rhododendron hedge and the grand piano that all parties agreed never to speak of again… but it just kept… going.
“Eureka!”
Never before had three syllables struck terror into Pepper’s heart. She had to look, just so she could appreciate the train wreck that happened afterwards.
It was a hovering hula-hoop. Or rather, it looked like a hovering hula-hoop.
“What monster have you created now?” Pepper asked, only half-joking.
“Personal weather system.” Tony in a manic mood was never much for excess verbiage. “It’ll follow her around, stealth at first, of course; and rain on her - and only her.”
“This could not possibly go wrong,” Pepper deadpanned flat sarcasm.
As per protocol for these things, Tony set it loose, waited half an hour, and then sent the taunting text, How’s the weather?
And for two weeks, nothing happened. Two glorious weeks without so much as a black fax.
Tony actually relaxed. Well, relaxed for Tony.
Then came the garden party. A fine mist filled the air, but it did nothing to dampen the spirits of anyone in attendance. Until Sara showed up. Glittering and spectacular and - Pepper noticed - not being rained on.
“Why the hell is she dry?” muttered Tony.
“How the hell should I know?” murmured Pepper.
“Mister Stark,” said Sara.
“Ms Adrien,” said Tony.
They shook.
“Wonderful work with the programmable watering system,” said Sara. “I have it doing the rounds at Xavier’s. And congratulations on your fashion choice.”
“…zuh?” said Tony.
“I hear orange is the colour for celebrities of your calibre.”
Pepper and Tony looked together. He had turned a brilliant, vibrant, fake-tan orange.
Tony licked his hand. “Orange kool-aid?”
“I was out of Tang.”
“I’ll get you for this.”
“Really, Mister Stark. You have to stop handing me the weaponry. Those are the nanobots you originally sent after me, remember?”
Tony fumed. “Yes,” he growled.
“And nice try suborning the Sentinels. It won’t work a second time.”
“Wait. I didn’t reprogram the Sentinels.” Tony turned to Pepper. “Did I?”
Pepper didn’t have to check. “No. That wasn’t us.”
“Hmph,” said Sara. “Someone is using our personal vendetta against us.”
“Us?” Tony quoted.
“I did not put you on SHIELD’s watch list.” Sara snagged and sipped some juice. “My motto is Mostly Harmless, as you will recall.”
Tony caught on. “Someone’s trying to up the stakes.”
“Shall we happen to them together?”
Tony had a very nasty grin. “Yes. Let’s.”
Oh dear. Now he had Pepper in conniptions at two syllables.
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