Iris Tonia

Chapter Fourteen.
(To the Cavalcadium, The invisible Iris, Very good friends, and The beginning of the show)

Thursday.

Colonel Walter, sporting some of the new self-adhesive bandages, was eager to display his twin automatons to the world. And, of course, to a very special audience consisting of Miss Doctor Delilah Moreau.

He had taken every care with his appearance, today. Freshly bathed and shaven. Made liberal use of pomade. Even applied a little subtle makeup to his lingering bruises. All so that his idol Delilah might turn her fair attention his way and look kindly upon him.

He brought along Miss Iris, owing to her unique gift with his boys. She had taught them far more about proper behaviour in two days than he had successfully absorbed in a lifetime. Her gentle charms kept The Spine calm and Rabbit civil despite everything that the Admiral could dish out. So of course he needed her on their first performance.

They had rehearsed, of course. Peter's simple plan was to explain their construction and the Babbage Brain, display the Blue Matter core, and exhibit an example of their musical prowess before showing how they could learn. Dear darling Delilah should be elegantly impressed.

He entertained some pleasant visions concerning a more personal discussion about the chemical properties of Blue Matter. And he may find himself so bold as to request an evening with her and the chaperone of her choice.

All he had to do was convince her that he was nothing like the Admiral, and he could look forward to a lifetime of domestic and scientific bliss with the doctor of his dreams. Preferably as far from the Admiral his father as he could get.

Peter had to divorce himself from his fantasies in order to set up for his lecture. It would be disastrous if his boys caught him in the middle of optimistic rehearsals.

Miss Iris looked rather staid and bland in her daywear. Almost to the point of becoming invisible. Covert inquiry with Mrs Cambridge revealed the poor girl only owned one proper dress. That, and her well-earned bonuses were being squirrelled away for later needs. Miss Iris seemed to believe that her job was in permanent jeopardy. An illusion he had no time to remedy now.

He helped Rabbit set The Spine up by the piano. Poor lad could stand on his own but still lacked the confidence for independent walking. Rabbit could not only walk and talk, but also managed to wrangle a decent tune out of a squeeze box. Plenty enough to gain the most important attention in the entire Cavalcadium.

"Remember your cues, boys," he whispered as the first members of his esteemed audience filed in. His gaze jinked from door to door, watching for the most important of the important figures filing into the lecture hall.

There she was. Arm in arm with her very good friend Miss Viviana Broodwell. They never went anywhere without each other. They even shared a modest house in the city. Miss Broodwell fussed about with helping Delilah into her seat and quickly vanished inside Delilah's magnificent aura.

Peter clapped his hands. "My dear ladies and gentlemen of science..."

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Chapter Thirteen.
(First etiquette lessons, A need of physic, A silly episode, and Professional work)

Mrs Cambridge helped Iris quietly escort the metal men into the kitchen. Where thick walls protected the mechanical babies from all but the worst of the shouting. Both automatons huddled under the table clung to each other in abject misery.

Iris helped them drink cool water to help refill their boilers, and calmed them with a nonsense song that her own mother had used when Iris had

Chapter Twelve.
(Miss Verity Ponsonbury, The wrong kind of beast, The wrong kind of babies, and A flight in tears)

Miss Verity Ponsonbury smiled her airy smile as she tried her hardest to work out what was going on. Her dear Papa, Sir Etherington Ponsonbury, had received a letter that morning that had made him very happy indeed.

Papa had spent a majority of the morning insisting that Verity put on her very best grownup dress - she had been saving it

Chapter Eleven.
(Brand new twins, Find the Lady, Afternoon tea, and The peril of a bad match)

Iris could tell that the Admiral had crept back to listen in. The arrogant fellow was in for a boring afternoon, because all he could hear was the Colonel lecturing her about his intentions for his machines. Her rare contributions to what passed for conversation were variations on "This one?" or, "Here."

At least she had the chance to keep it mostly neat as she

Chapter Ten.
(An absence of sandwiches, A sudden chill, Miss Iris to the rescue, and Rabbit talks)

Peter didn't notice that he'd been working all night until he heard Miss Iris clear her throat. Oh. The little table had become covered over again.

He chuckled and moved the pile of mechanical limbs. "I'm so close to the ultimate breakthrough... I've nearly got it."

"Breakfast," said Miss Iris. "You missed dinner, so I made extra."

He sniffed the air. Not a hint of

Chapter Nine.
(Acting for her life, Five pounds of snuff, A peculiar turn, and Enthusiastic gratitude)

Iris focused intently on the carpet. The Pembrookes' lessons had included acting for a reason. And now she was acting for her life, as well as the lives of all the maids working under the Admiral. Her part was now the shy and demure maid, only after an honest day's work. And one who had no clue what the Admiral was on about.

She kept her

Chapter Eight.
(Plans gone awry, High-pitched screaming, The special snuff, and The devil in a pinafore)

Admiral Walter tried to stir up his idiot son's sense of chivalry by causing a ruckus among the maids. Sooner or later, that dunderhead had to find himself in a scene where he would have to rescue one or more of them.

But that plan rather hoped that the boy would come downstairs from his toys more than once a day. Therefore he laid in wait

Chapter Seven.
(Pembrooke’s Finishing School for Discerning Ladies, A confusion of betterment, A nice chat, and An old ally)

Sunday arrived far too early and far too late. She was not yet ready to walk the streets of San Diego in confidence on her own... And the Admiral had taken to menacing the girls, even when they were in pairs. The maids took to traveling everywhere in threes and fours.

Today, this Sunday, everyone else had other business. She was the

Chapter Six.
(The dreadful sandwich reappears, An attempt at a decent meal, A close call, and A good tidying)

Early to bed and early to rise, it is said, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. Once Admiral Reginaldfield Chesterpot Walter had achieved the 'wealth' part of that trio, he completely surrendered any efforts to accomplish the rest. He didn't rise until after ten and didn't leave his bedchamber much before noon.

Mrs Cambridge saw to his wants.

Which gave Iris plenty

Chapter Five.
(From the frying pan to the fire, Mrs Cambridge to the rescue, The threat of diaries, and A miserable night’s sleep)

Her master caught her up as she was running for the sanctuary of the kitchen and the servant's quarters in the cellar. He lifted her off her feet, causing her to scream at the top of her lungs and fight with all the strength she had.

Elbows, knees, nails, feet, and even teeth came into play. All the

Chapter Four.
(Neutral territory, The Admiral’s survivors, The Admiral’s victims, and Dinner happens once a day)

Peter carried her all the way to the library. One of the demilitarised zones in the perpetual battle between himself and the old man. Laid her carefully on one of the couches there and, with a thought to her sense of decency, covered her stockinged legs with a throw his late mother had made.

Poor Ma. The doctors said she perished from hysterical melancholy.

Chapter Three.
(Formal Dinner, The suffragette’s critique, Goods on display, and An insufferable situation)

Dinner was a very stiff affair. Starched collars and cuffs and near-strangling black ties. The Admiral Walter wore it like a second skin, while the young master wore it rather like a straight jacket.

Iris, and a good half-dozen other maids in similarly brief uniforms, stood decoratively around the room. All well within the young master's line of sight. She had managed to find his bedchamber, conspired

Chapter Two.
(Miss Iris learns the ropes, That which needs fixing, The dreadful sandwich, and The cheeky copper head)

Iris scurried after Mrs Cambridge, skirts held fast in both hands.

"No doubt he's told you not t' do something 'til you're fixed somehow. You can forget about that with me."

"Said I shouldn't talk, m'm. Said me accent needed fixin'."

"Uhuh. Irish. There's those who lord it over any they see as lesser, and our master the Admiral has an entire list

Disclaimer: Steam Powered Giraffe belongs to David and Isabella Bennett, Sam Luke, and possibly Steve Negrette. I make no claim on their characters or lore. I only wish to try and do it justice.

Chapter One.
(A new hire, The mis-pronounced Mrs Cambridge, Ominous forebodings, and Perplexing romantic gestures)

Admiral Reginaldfield Chesterpot Walter peered over his desk at the new maid. Most of her hair was demurely wound up in a cap, but a few escaped tendrils declared her to be a