We interrupt my quasi-regular wall-street themed rant to bring you: ponies.
Or rather, the supreme lack thereof.
Here in Queensland there seems to be an amazing dearth of toys based on My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I was under the mistaken assumption that Hasbro wanted to make money out of this.
There are absolutely
moulded-hair show-accurate figurine sets anywhere in my area.
And since my daughter loves Rainbow Dash [She’s pretty heavily ASD and this is one of the few things she talks coherently about] I went looking for one.
All they have is the RC-Car Rainbow Dash.
What next, Hasbros? Princess Celestia on a motorcycle that shoots things?
[FYI, characters on motorcycles that shoot things is my hallmark of crap merchandise. Especially if it makes no sense. Marvel used to excel at this. Most recent sighting: Buzz Lightyear on a motorcycle that shoots things. Two years ago.]
Sorry, Hasbro. Much as I love your show, your toys are absolute shit.
Visible hair plugs - 10 fail points. Girls love hair play and love it better when the hair looks, you know, at least quasi-realistic.
Limited motion - 8 fail points. Yes, I know the all-plastic show-accurate figurines are completely motionless, but they get that much of a pass for being accurate. As for the brushable figures, about all you can do to pose them is move their head 360 degrees. Girls also like to pose their dollies. Sit them down, lie them in bed, make them climb a tree… everything they do in the show.
Butt-fuck ugly - 10 fail points. Have you looked at the brushable figures? Gyah. And the ones they deign to put dresses on. Yikes. No. Fucking. Clue. C'mon, you can at least make something pretty, for crying out loud.
The Princess Celestia doll - 11 fail points out of a possible 10. There is just too much fail for one parcel. Having seen the dollar shop knockoff photos and the genuine article, I’d have to say there is very little difference.
If you want to make more money from picky fans like me [and possibly my daughter] put out some decent merch!
Wow, that was a world class digression.
Anyway. I’m looking for at least a halfway decent Rainbow Dash and the only one I can find comes with a RC car. I’m pretty limited to the Brisbane/Caboolture area, so keep that in mind when I ask:
Do they have ANY show-accurate Rainbow Dash dollies out there, or any halfway decent Rainbow Dash dolls? And if so, where are they?