Write your story out in a word processor on your computer, save it, and wait for your internet to return to life. Nobody will mind if it's...

I’m currently using my phone as a wifi hotspot and shall therefore be using the internet VERY sparingly.

It’s a hardware issue - in that the wires that the telephone company were supposed to be maintaining were allowed to fail and now my house and 120 other households are now officially incommunicado until freaking MONDAY.

Today is Friday.

You can guess how pleased I am about all this.