Ymmv

A 72-post collection

Fanfic time: Misfits part 11

I think I’m about a quarter of the way through this beast.

Continued from yesterday…

  “What on *Earth* happened to *you* today?” asked Mr Sheindlin. “Anyone would think you didn’t *like* Computer class.”

  “Contrary to rumour, I’m allergic to something mysterious,” Sara slid into her seat and began opening tabs in her browser[1]. “The leading suspect is *air*.”

  Some of the class giggled and there were whispers containing a certain vowel. Lovely. Maybe she could work it into her featured animation.

  Sara found out that she could focus if she scrinched her eyes painfully shut for an entire second, but all the same, she was mostly coding by feel.

  Mr Sheindlin had one rule for computer class: No games unless you code them yourself, or are beta testing by request of the coder.

  Sara at least was popular when she finished coding a game. Albeit briefly. Half the accusations of “Adrian’s” drug lifestyle came from the people who enjoyed her weird sense of humour.

  No matter. All she had to do was survive. One more day. Then she could hide out and weather the worst of her skin trouble and work out what to do from there.

  All she had to do was survive.

  From computer class to Remedial Ed. Mr Kawalski sighed at her appearance and got her and Freddy working on spoken grammar.

  “Your eyes look really bad,” said Freddy.

  “They do? How bad is ‘bad’?”

  “They’re all milky an’ stuff,” he supplied. “An’ before you cry? They get all bulgy.”

  “'And’, dear. Mind your consonants.”

  “Right. Sorry.”

  Sara pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. “Ugh. I haven’t had this much trouble with my eyes since I made the mistake of painted contacts…[2]” Realisation hit her like a truck. “Lizards… Of *course*. Freddy? Is anyone watching us?”

  “Nuh-uh.”

  She briefly washed her hands in a small slosh of her water, then held open one eye and plucked at its surface. There was a small, slithery feeling and a sudden relief of itch from one eye. And clarity.

  “Sara?” said Freddy.

  “Snakes shed the scales that cover their eyes, dear,” she said. Minor slithery feelings resulted in her newly cleared eye evicting the last shreds of the last eye-coating. “I guess I have some of those properties.”

  Quickly, now, she removed the other one and put the evidence inside a tissue. “Oh, *my* that is such a relief…”

  The tears weren’t going away in a hurry, unfortunately. Sara rode them out, begging a refill of her bottle halfway through class, and found herself counting the hours until the end of the day.

  She couldn’t wait to tell Todd about the eyes. She definitely had one up on the weird-ometer for that one.

  Mr Kian removed her from class for a half-hour to lecture her on why drugs were dangerous. Rumour was *ever* a replacement for evidence in *this* school.

  She didn’t protest, she just smiled and nodded, accepted the pamphlets, and added them into the grist she collected for the Janine Collateral Damage Collage she had planned for an art project this year.

+

  Lunchtime.

  Sara found herself craving protein and carbs, so it had to be the special fried rice plus the tuna salad. And a lot of milk.

  She smiled when she found Todd and actually managed to avoid the gauntlet for a change on her way over to him.

  “Hello, stranger,” she smiled. “Are you okay for lunch today?”

 [1] Mozilla Firebird and tab-browsing rock ^_^

 [2] Some make-up effects are made by actually *painting* the inside of a contact lens. This causes irreparable harm to the surface of the eye. I’m frankly shocked that various makeup departments don’t know this.

~

  Todd was ranting at himself all the way down the hall. _Great, foo, why not just tell the rest of the X-geeks about Sara._ He didn’t want them to notice her. It was bad enough if Lance and Pietro noticed her and he’d already proudly told them he had a girl. They were going to be paying attention.

  Freddy could help keep them in check if they found out Sara was loaded. But the X-geeks would approach her and make nice or wipe her brain or something. Todd shuddered involuntarily at the remembrance of spider legs walking through his mind right after his first espionage assignment. Todd had learned nothing of great significance, but Xavier had checked anyway. *He* had gone through his *memories* - ones he didn’t want anyone to know. The ones he wanted to disown. Xavier probably knew all his secrets. Todd couldn’t trust someone like that.

  He popped open his locker. No text for Spanish today. He’d lent it to Tabby over the weekend and had seen nothing of it since. Ms. Cortes was going to skin him alive. Fortunately, Todd knew the combination to the locker next to his which belonged to Paul - one of Summers’ friends. Todd pulled out the Spanish book and hoped he’d have time to return it before Paul noticed it missing.

  “Hola, clase.”

  “Hola, Senora Cortes.”

  _Que aburrida,_ Todd scribbled at the top of his notes. _Deseo dormir ya, y la clase no ha comenzado._[1] He contented himself by drawing more pictures of Sara in the margins, paying attention only when the person in front of him was called to read from the book. Todd executed his turn, pausing when the teacher corrected his pronunciation.

  High school spanish wasn’t a language class. It was a parrot class. Everyone just repeated what they heard while Todd practiced his own skills by writing his thoughts down in Spanish. Man, he was going to be screwed if Mrs. Cortes saw his notes, but Spanish was a secret code he could use to write about anything or anyone he wanted.

  Todd looked up at the clock. Ten minutes left and it was lunch. Drawings were one pleasant distraction, but the real thing was infinitely better.

+

  “Hey stranger, you okay for lunch?”

  Todd looked up from a comic book.[2] “Yo, you’re lookin’ better. And you got an appetite. That’s good news.”

  “Ugh, I might be looking more bright-eyed …” Sara popped a forkful of tuna into her mouth. Maybe not as gracefully as Lady Favisham would have approved, but she was *hungry*.

  “I know,” Todd soothed sympathetically. His voice was already quiet, but he lowered it just in case. “I ain’t never had no scales come in, but I can imagine. I’ve had *gravel* trapped between new and old, and it *wasn’t* fun.”

  Sara made a face around her next bite. “Ack. The thought makes my skin itch even *more*.”

 [1] translation: How boring. I want to sleep already, and class has not begun.

 [2] Calvin and Hobbes

~

  Sara didn’t want to risk peeling her skin and exposing anything scale-like during school hours, so she placed her palms on her arms[1] and wobbled the flesh. Not that it did anything for her actual discomfort, but it quelled her desire to scratch. “Gyah. I’m going to change the subject to something even grosser, dear. I’m sorry, but at least it's not going to make me itch worse.” The last remnant of her left eye-scale chose that exact moment to appear in the corner of her eye. Sara quickly wiped it out. “Remember my vision problems this morning? It turns out I was shedding skin from my *eyes*.”

  Todd shuddered, but that didn’t stop him ingesting. “Ick, yo.”

  “Sorry,” she engulfed more of her lunch. “Dear… I think my metabolism might be going into hyperdrive.”

  Freddy was nodding. “That happens,” he said. “You’re not sick, but you *feel* that way?”

  “Oh heck, yes,” said Sara. She almost inhaled her milk. A snatch of tune escaped her mouth. “I’m not sick, but I’m not well…” She instantly blushed and covered her mouth.

  Todd, seemingly uneffected by her caterwauling, sang the next line, "And I’m so ho-oooot, 'cause I’m in heeee-eeell…“ He laughed. "Know the feeling, doll. If it’s any consolation, yo, it’s all gonna be downhill after tomorrow.”

  “O, tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow… creeps in this petty pace from day to day… Oh *dear*… Todd, darling, please… I *need* somewhere to hide out tomorrow. Mother–” twitch “–needs to believe I’ve gone to school. The school needs to believe I’m staying at home. Can I *please* hide over at your place?”

+

  Todd remembered that he had his hand up his sleeve and a handful of dead skin. Yes, she *had* called him 'darling’. He wasn’t dreaming. On the other hand, the way she said it had - *intonations*. It was you’ll-be-a-darling-if-you-say-yes, not darling-I-love-you. When she said 'dear’ to him, he heard I-kinda-like-you-but-I-dunno-what-to-do-next. 

  It was amazing what Sara could pack into a few syllables.

  “Hey, take it as given,” he breezed. “We got a room or two that we ain’t using fo’ trash. Y'know… if yo’ need privacy fo’ anythin’. Or somewhere t’ stash yo’ stuff. Or sumpin.”

  “Something,” said Sara, possibly on automatic. “Thank you. Will you -er- also be there?” She went pink again.

  He loved that blush. _My crimson cutie…_ Part of his mind was appalled. _I did *NOT* just think that!_

  Unfortunately for his hopes of answering, *Pietro* had to show up.

  “Heywhatthehellareyoudoin'talkin'toEsselfor? Shouldn'tyoubemakin'smoochiewithyouralleged*girl*?”

  “Shuddup, Pie-pie,” Todd growled.

  Sara blinked. “Goodness. You certainly cram in the words per second, don’t you? Todd, dear, is this a *friend* of yours?”

  _Translation: Do we have to be friends with him because he’s a mutant?_ “Yeah, he’s one of us. Ignore him. He’s an asshole.” _And there’s no way I’m tellin’ you what he did to yo’ stuff, neither._

  “Hey, atleastIactually*talk*togirls,” said Pietro. "Thereisn'tagirlinthisschoolwhowon'tfallfortheoldquicksilvercharm.“

  "I can think of *one*,” Sara drawled.

  “Areyoustillhere?”

  “Ah, so you’re blind as *well* as stupid,” Sara said. “No wonder you couldn’t see that we were having a pleasant conversation.”

  _ZING!_ Todd grinned. Rare was the time someone got one up on the speedster. It looked like all that water was finally helping.

  “Aren'tyoutheguywhocarriesaround*feminine stuff*?” He zipped around behind her. “Lemmegiveyouasimplehint. Dicksdon'tbleed.”

  _O God, no,_ thought Todd.

  “Ifyougotnothinguphere–” he 'honked’ her left breast.

  {WHAP!} “Comport yourself, sir!”

  _The hell?_ Todd stood, trying to find where Pietro went.

  “Whoah,” said Freddy.

  Pietro was under a neighbouring table, holding his face. Sara had one hand over her mouth in frightened amazement.

  When he emerged, Pietro had a perfect red palm-print on his jaw. "Unh…“ he managed. "Ah… fuckin’ 'ell…” Very, very carefully, he made sure his jaw was still undislocated.

  “I'mterriblysorry,” Sara murmured, trying to untangle herself from the chair, her bag, and the table. “I didn’t even know I *had* that reflex. Lady Favisham’s must have *got* to me. Do you need a hand to the nurse's off–”

  “Don'tfuckin'touchme!” Pietro scrabbled away and hid behind Fred.

  Fred immediately scragged him by the front of his shirt. “I got half a mind ta pound ya *myself* for what ya did.”

  “Freddy, *please*,” Sara chided. “Violence isn’t *you*.”

  And, amazingly, Fred put Pie-pie down and actually *pouted*.

  _Yo, this has gotta be some weird mutant power,_ Todd boggled. Three words and she got the big guy to settle down and not want to fight. Sometimes it took the 'hood a whole *day*. “Did I ever tell yo’ you're amazin’?” he said. He risked holding her hand. _Ow. Her poor skin. She's all dry an’ lumpish. Damn, those must be new scales. Poor kiddo…_

  She wrapped both hands around his and went pink. She ducked her head, but since he was much shorter, he was in an ideal position to see her smile for him. “No, I’m not,” she mumbled. “It’s just a dumb trick.”

  Daniels was giving them the hairy eyeball.

  Todd gave him the finger.

  Then, by some unknown magic, a teacher appeared into the scene. "*Mister* Maximoff! I believe this is the third time you’ve been *told* about brawling on school grounds?[2]“

  "But– he– I mean–”

  “No excuses. Detention.”

  There was a distant, “*Yes*!” from the X-geek table.

  “Suck it, Daniels!” Pietro shouted.

  “*Two* hours’ detention,” said the teacher. “Want to shoot for three or are we going to come along quietly?”

  Todd took the chance to escort Sara from the scene and find the one faucet reliable for filling up bottles. “You OK?”

+

  He was holding her hand.

  A boy.

  A real, live *male* of the species… *wanted* to touch her.

  Something quantum had gone wrong with the universe[3].

  “Uh-uh,” she nodded mutely and tried to swig from her empty bottle. No water. She was still thirsty.

  “Here, yo.” He held her hand - again - as he guided the bottle under the faucet and turned it on. He touched her face. Light, gentle, *cool* fingers… His skin was so smooth. “You sure you okay?”

  “You’re. You are,” she said. Her whole body jumped in a shiver. "Hah… Oh my… I’ve never *had* nerves before. Is that what it's like?“

  "Yo, you were fan-frikkin’-tastic, cutie-pie. I could *kiss* yo’.”

  “Something’s stopping you?” she babbled.

  His gentle touch bought her head down to his.

  Their lips met.

  He tasted sweet.

  He smelled of forest floors and rich, wet earth.

  Such a moment could have lasted forever… but the bottle overflowed and the splashing water soaked into their ankles.

  They broke apart in an embarressed flurry to at least halt the spread of the mess.

  Sara spilled half the bottle over her shirt in her fright.

  “Todd…” she said. “I–”

  {Rrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnggggg…}

  _–have to go to class. Damnit._ “After school?”

  “Death can’t stop me,” he said, “Sugarlips.”

  Sara was beetroot-red and prone to giggle all the way to class.

+

  Evan poked Kurt with a note in AP Chem.

  “Dude,” he whispered. “We’re supposed to be watching the *film*.”

  “Read the fuckin’ note,” Evan hissed.

  Kurt rolled his eyes and unfolded the paper.

  _Just saw Essel and *Toad* kissing,_ Evan had written. _Only, Essel's real name is *Sara* or something. I still think she’s a guy. Does that make me gay?_

  Kurt tore up the note with a pointed glare at his friend. “Get a *grip*,” he murmured. “Geez…”

 [1] Hey, that rhymed! Whee!

 [2] Teachers always pick on the wounded, rather than the woundee, to haul off to the office. I’ve yet to fathom *why*.

 [3] I’m pretty sure I’ve paraphrased Pratchett here…

~~

Fanfic time: Misfits part 10

Continued from yesterday:

  And all of a sudden, there he was, holding her hand. She could only see him if she looked at him directly. “Hello,” she smiled. “Of course I’ll sit next to you, dear. I need someone to lean on.”

  “Trouble?” he said. “Someone beat you up?”

  “Nuh. I just feel like heck.” She squinched her eyes again. “Maybe I *am* allergic to something…”

  “

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Fanfic time: Misfits part 9

Continued from yesterday:

  Todd smiled and traced a little heart on the screen with his finger. She had logged off, leaving nobody but himself and Big Blue.

  FrogPrince: Thanks for everything, doc. Sorry i gave u the bums rush.

  Big Blue: Np. Kids in love do that. Happens to me like u would not believe.

  FrogPrince: Got kids? O.o;

  Big Blue: Not my own.

  Big Blue: Brat! What was that face for?

  FrogPrince: Meep *hides* nothing!!!

  Big Blue: Lol. Go 2

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Fanfic time: Misfits part 8

Continued from yesterday:

  “Good thing I’m not allergic to calamine,” Sara muttered. A quick visit to the medicine cabinet and, after locking her door, she was typing one-handed and patting pink sludge onto her back.

  TheTallest: As long as Dr. doesn’t come w blue police call box, I'm happy.

  FrogPrince: Um. What?

  TheTallest: Sorry. PBS joke.

  FrogPrince: OH! Dr Who. I get it.

  TheTallest: Surpriste! No offence, but most don’t get NE refs.

  FrogPrince:

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Fanfic time: Misfits part 7

Trigger warning: This episode contains verbal abuse.

Continued from yesterday:

  Todd made Sara laugh by closing his eyes and choosing at random. He got the one with the daisies. Oh well, he was in a good enough mood to feel like silly if it meant she laughed. It was nice too… not to be on guard for once.

  Eileen started up like a sputtering old woman who’d been woken against her will.

  “Easy, girl, be good for me.

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Fanfic time: Misfits part 6

Continued from yesterday…

  “From the looks of things, you couldn’t help it,” said Sara. “That’s a nasty bruise you have there.” She mirrored the mark, tracing invisible outlines against her own skin.

  Inter-person touching was a thing she never *quite* understood the sub-implications of, so she tended to avoid it. Sara followed the simple rule, _Touch as others touch you,_ and so far, no-one had.

  “I have something in my medkit for

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Fanfic time: Misfits part 5

Continued from yesterday…

  Sara rubbed her back on the back of her chair and did her level best not to grunt. That itch was driving her positively berzerk…

  The bell rang, delivering her from English Basics and sending her straight to Elementry Science. It used to be with Dr McCoy, but since he disappeared, Mr Hinkley had been filling in.

  It wasn’t nearly as much fun without Dr McCoy, despite the fact that she got to stare at

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Fanfic time: Misfits part 4

Continued from yesterday

  _Rule One: Blend. Rule Two: Practice for control’s sake, and don’t let anyone *see* you practice. Rule Three: Know your animal._ Sara did her best to memorise those rules as she ate. Considering the necessary secrecy, it would be more than wise to not keep anything written.

  Something occurred to her. “It’s not just chameleons, you know.”

  “Hmn?” Todd surfaced from his mental wanderings. “Whut?”

  “The

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Fanfic time: Misfits part 3

Continued from yesterday…

  Todd left off tracing the scars to doodle the memory of Sara’s face. He was no Picasso, but he could make a passable portrait if he felt inclined. The hair went so… if Sara let it grow out a little more, it might be wavy.

  Then the nose and eyes. Sara’s eyebrows were more or less responsible for making her look like a boy. Everything else, from her cheekbones to her lips was

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Fanfic time: Misfits part 2

Continued from yesterday, behind a cut to preserve everyone from a wall of text.

  When Todd got to the office, the secretary was playing ‘phone tag.

  “Bayville High, please hold…” she intoned. “Bayville High, please hold… Bayville High, please hold…”

  Todd took a ticket, then noticed the other guy who had. “Jesus H. frikkin’ Christ on a crutch!”

  “*MISTER* Tolenski!” The secretary barked. “Sorry, sir, I'm transferring your

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Fanfic time: Misfits part 1

Once upon a time, a very nice author called Foxglove and I decided to do a quasi-RP'ish fanfic based loosely on a collapsed roleplaying mailer thing.

It mutated from there.

This fic is all in ASCII. These ~ things mean an end of turn. These + mean a change of scene. _Underscores_ around a word symbolise italics and *asterisks* mean bold. {Sound effects} are in wobbly brackets and [Foreign languages] are in square ones. 

This is a very long fic, so I’m

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Some things I've learned

You can learn a lot from going overseas. All you have to do is open your mind when you open your eyes.

Long-ass blather follows. Go fetch a cuppa if you’re going to read this.

Considering that I have the attention span of a slightly concussed kitten, I’ll try to keep things organised with some bold headers.

Our current economic woes are our own fault and the solution lies within.

Basically, we let the corporate giants get that

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