theinevitablezombieapocalypse:
Zombie Apocalypse Classic Choice:
The object to your left is now your weapon of choice in the upcoming zombie apocalypse. What is it?
Erm… the spray bottle I use to keep the cats from scratching the furniture??
A glass of Chardonnay, how the hell will that help me?
My cat. The Apocalypse can come; we’re ready.
This extremely hilarious. My weapon of choice: my two year old son.
This is pointing right at my guitar
… my pillow. I think that means I’m going to sleep through it
My dog…. I’ll take it
my stand of samurai swords. heeheehee.
A bottle of water. Very resourceful, I’m not complaining.
It’s literally a wall.
Do you have any idea how many objects there are to my left? The closest is a plastic spoon. Then some paper. A water bottle, tablet stylus, ceramic dinosaur… This interview’s over!
A can of cs spray, handcuffs, and baton. I think I’ll be marginally okay.
This again… okay… I have a camera, a box of tissues, the entire collections of Seinfeld, the IT Crowd, and some of MAS*H, a box of tissues and a cup full of bacon grease (no, I don’t know why he’s keeping it, I don’t make bacon).
Oh, and a pancake griddle. Let’s go with that one.
The object to my immediate left is my nebuliser, which serves the double purpose of making sure I can breathe and being a pretty good bludgeon.
Of course the former function would do me zero good when the electricity stops [roughly 24-48 hours into cessation of business as normal] unless I could lay my hands on some kind of clean, quiet generator [and soundproofing] I may last some significant time.
People who snore [like I do] have a significant disadvantage in a zombie apocalypse where the undead hunt largely by noise. Therefore laying one’s hands on enough soundproofing to muffle oneself but not suffocate oneself is literally of vital importance.
I’ve done a lot of research into what a realistic zombie apocalypse would be like for my upcoming book: Kung Fu Zombies, coming to a Smashwords near you, Decemberish 2015.
