Some have noted that my life is boring. Heaven forfend I get excitement, because excitement usually involves someone’s life going pants and me doing some variant of the quirkafleg.
[The quirkafleg is a series of spasmodic paroxysms directly related to extreme disgust, a violent tantrum, or a combination of the twain. Use the word and confuse your friends and family]
Today I got my exercise by Culching.
Culch is a fancy word for “potentially useful junk” and does actually exist in some dictionaries. Look it up. What you consider to be culch varies depending on your interests, hobbies or projects. It can be as mundane as free range cardboard or as exotic and varied as the contents of M5.
Culching is what you do when gathering culch.
Translation: I’ve been shopping.
Amongst my multitude of items - I’ll spare the more exotic details, there’s little more dull than a culcher explaining their culch - I managed to find some Pilates-style megaballs. One for me to use instead of my rapidly dilapidating chair, and one for the spawn to nick instead of my new flakking chair.
I also got an upper-body workout inflating the megaballs.
The old chair is in a sorry state. It’s lost one arm, most of its cushy padding, a small percentage of the original leather and the ability to reliably go up, down or lean back. Most of this attrition can be directly blamed on the spawn.
The problem now is what to do with the old chair. Do I let it decay? Turn it into a lawn ornament? Break it down for parts to increase my SABLE [Stash Above and Beyond Life Expectancy] to ridiculous proportions?
I can’t just throw it away.
It could come in handy.