What would I miss most by turning Vegan?

Short answer: Chewing, because the only vegan food is Soylent(possibly).

Long answer:

Veganism is the lifestyle choice of eschewing food items that could possibly harm an animal. On the surface, that seems nice and friendly to our fur-bearing friends [and scale-bearing, and skin-bearing, and chitin-bearing etc] until you actually think about it.

There’s not a plant on our current menu that doesn’t exploit an animal.

Of the foods that don’t use bees to procreate, there’s still the microfauna in the soil - and the blood-and-bone fertiliser used to help them grow. And even if you [Yes you! Let’s not forget the humans treated worse than animals to cultivate and harvest those vegan foods] managed to grow your food in a completely sterile environment away from all other known life, there’s still the billions of tardigrades on abso-fucking-lutely everything.

You can’t exactly kill (or otherwise get rid of) a tardigrade very easily, which is vital for the aforementioned sterile environment.

And what about microscopic animals? Is killing them for your sterile environment exploitation? Or is letting them in your food-growing environment exploitation?

These questions are way too troublesome for me. Ergo, Soylent is the only truly vegan food, since it comes from minerals and other non-food sources. And even then, there’s probably microfauna in it anyway.

So yeah. I’d miss chewing.

[Yes I know I’m probably going to get a lot of hate from the Vegans in my audience; but I made the lifestyle choice of being an Ethical Omnivore, which means that, though no food is ultimately forbidden, I consider all the living things that become the process of my life and purchase food considerately. I respect your life choice, even though I don’t understand it. Please respect mine.]