Waiting for equilibrium

The diet's going fine, before you get worried. Going out and eating at the same time is a pain in the arse because there's carbs freaking everywhere. Every single take-out deal has chips and if they don't have chips, then it's noodles or rice.

Carbs, carbs, everywhere, and hardly a scrap to eat.

Beloved recorded an audio of themself trying to get deconstructed burgers for the family, this Friday gone. They had to explain 'no buns' four times. They just didn't understand...

1) "No buns." "No onions?"

2) "No, without buns." "Extra buns?"

3) "No, without the buns." "Without the buns?"(Who is this maniac?)

4) "Yeah, without the buns."

I'm pretty sure they had WTF face when they came rolling through.

The point of this is that we went out yesterday and had to get some noms because Beloved was fading before we were halfway done. Poor darling.

They wandered around the Food Court whilst I was being assaulted with delicious smells of carbs galore before they finally settled on half a squab chicken from Red Rooster, which they then shared with me because the carb smell had triggered my stomach into action.

And even though Beloved ordered just half a chicken (and possibly explained "no chips" four times), the chicken came in a box with every spare space loaded with deadly carb missiles.

I was ready to carry the chips back to them and tear them a new one. Beloved stopped me from haranguing some poor sod who was probably running on autopilot, and we just chucked them into the rubbish where they belong.

Eating out has become more of a minefield than usual. I'm'a start calling it the Carb Court.

Either that or we just get a cooked chook at Woolies and nick some knives and forks from somewhere so we can eat our fill. Or we pack a Ketogenic cut lunch and flip the Carb Court the bird.

So that's another downside of going ketogenic. You can't just get a quick meal from any given chain food place. You have to be careful about that noise. Even the asian food places have oodles and oodles of noodles all over everything.

And sure, chips are convenient, but they're also poison. I'm sure if I scattered arsenic options all over the place that you wouldn't opt in.

And I have yet to spend my birthday cashola because Beloved derped and possibly had enough of mall crawling for the day. Probably for the best. Absolutely nowhere has anything in pure cotton any more.

I shall try, and try, and try until I have exhausted every possibility, including Cotton On, which only carries clothing for little people. And then I'll go blow all my money on iTunes.

Fuck the fashion industry and their polyester/polycotton agenda. They're just as bad as the firkin chips.

And the reason why I'm waiting for equilibrium? Because two years hence, when it happens, I will be doing a full physical check and getting accurate data on all the health stats, including the completely bogus Bullshit Medical Indicator. I shall also be talking about trimming the loose skin, if there still is any, so my saggy, flappy body actually looks like it's lost weight. I don't care about scars, just let me keep sensation so I can enjoy Beloved smoothing me over in the morning.

It's things like that that can mean everything.