Tuesday, Serious Stuff (and Patreon)
A close friend of the family suffered a sexual assault, yesterday.
She's not injured, there was no forced entry, so to speak. What the proper definition might be if it was welcome could be "heavy petting".
She had to say, "No thank you" so many times she lost count before the skeezbag got the fucking hint.
Even if she reports it, nothing will be done. Apart from the usual victim blaming.
"Where did this happen?" Translated: were you in a prostitute hot spot, a dance club, a bar, or a dark alley where these things are expected to occur?
"What were you wearing?" Translated: were you done up like a prostitute or otherwise "asking for it"?
"Did you try to fight him off?" Translated: If you at all went even slightly acquiescent then it's your fault.
Most women panic and go very still in these situations. They've been trained not to fight on first instinct. Given the entire "what if I make him angry" narrative, the safest action is no action at all.
People who do sexual assault know this. They know exactly what they're doing. This grease stain of a human being wasn't "just being overly friendly" or "just socially awkward" or any other excuse you could make up. He knew precisely what he could get away with and stuck all ten toes over that line.
And he'll get away with it, too.
Even if he is reported.
Why do I keep saying 'if'? Because sexual assault is critically under-reported at the best of times, and it gets even worse when the victim is trans.
The friend who got assaulted is also trans.
Trans people are stereotyped as sex workers. Chiefly because they used to be forced into such as their only avenue of income. Therefore they must be 'sluts' and "asking for it" right? Wrong.
Unless someone is literally asking for it, NOBODY is asking for it.
So if she decides to go to the cops, she's already starting at a disadvantage. The stereotyped assumption remains. The accusations and victim blaming would be even more intense. She could even be accused of "leading him on" as so many apologists are wont to say.
Even if she was in the middle of the shops or somewhere everyone goes. Even if she was wearing the frumpiest outfit you can think of. Even IF she fought back or made a noise or made a scene or ugly cried about it... the prejudice will remain.
And that sucks.
I'm going to try finishing a chapter before I do the Patreon posts.
Otherwise, I am just going to try and be okay. And hope my friend is okay too.