Tuesday, Day Two, SIDEWAYS!

by InterNutter

So here's the situation... Miss Chaos fell off a bouncy ball at school and bumped her noggin in a worrying way. I had to take her to the doctor's, then home for observation. She's staying home today.

The problem with this? Today's the day I'm taking my car in for a service. I have to keep her with me for those shenanigans. Which means bring along some entertainment devices for the love of Harry and St George.

In a few short hours, I need to do the royal ring-around, letting the school and the bus know that she's staying at home today. Fun.

Today technically started closer to midnight, so it's another week of effed-up sleep for yours truly.

In the headlines:

  • Media predicts months of horror during Muppet's insistence on clinging to office
  • Bad Muppet Tweets attract trolls like flies to poop
  • Moderna announces vaccine that's better than Pfiser's so ner
  • Pedo unmasked by own daughter
  • SA now has found the cause of their outbreak [no surprise, it was yet another set of institution workers] and announced that it only takes one mistake to get another one
  • SA panic-buying bog rolls, thus proving Humanity learns nothing
  • UK isolating again
  • Ivanka and hubby shunned from NYC, imagine how my heart bleeds
  • Muppet lawyers claim to have proof of vote rigging, but it's totes secret, you guys can't peek. Calling it now, another thick folio of blank pages
  • Tourists confused by Aussie lingo, chocolate, and the fact that Kangaroo is also a protein option
  • US giant Kraft in legal battle with Homegrown brand Bega over... peanut paste

Humans are insane. I have proof. Deny it all you like, but we are, as a species, completely bonkers.

Onwards to the story of the day.