Tuesday, Day 0, Patreon

by InterNutter

Two new cases, and the total's stable at eleven. Nothing local, so I'm trying hard to not panic. Not easy. For instance:

  1. I started today at 3AM with a very mild but still detectable cyclone headache
  2. And a good solid dose of the Death Cough(tm) [I'm not dying, I promise. It's just a scary impersonation thereof]
  3. Remembered to bathe at least
  4. Coffee not working, please consult manual

I get the feeling I'm going to CRASH sometime in the afternoon. If not sooner. So I'd better get a rattle on with today's nonsense. Including this bit.

In the news:

  • Forensics says Tiger Woods probably fell asleep at the wheel. Stop, revive, and survive folks
  • Prince Consort Philip moved to a different hospital for the rest of the week
  • More remains wash up connected with the Caddick conwoman case
  • China conducting combat drills whilst going uncomfortably close to other nations' waters
  • Fugitive couple accused of kidnapping found in a luxury resort
  • La Nina causing cooler summers and flooding rains on the east coast means terrible heat waves on the west coast - isn't weather weird?
  • Cyclone season off to a fantastic start with Tropical Cyclone Niran
  • Man allegedly uses knife to try and rob a shoe shop - caught on camera
  • Melbourne docklands still a ghost town because of plague. It's all the moonmelon anti-vax trumpists fault
  • Information and knowledge a big stumbling block for NSW's vax rollout
  • Mistakes were made with the vax rollout, but ScoMo promises things will improve
  • Police making watch lists out of the anti-vax set to make sure they don't destroy the plague vaccines
  • Muppet and minions still spuriously claim that he won
  • Gentrifiers now upset that mums and dads are now supporting their kids' owning a home
  • Ikea contributes to gentrifying caravan parks
  • iPhones, iWatches, and the resulting lawsuits explode
  • Facebook apologises for pulling posts about knitted "white pigs" for "hate speech"... they were actual, knitted, white piggy dolls
  • Blurry, out-of-focus pictures emerge of the suspected Tasmanian Tigers. Experts say its unlikely that they are what the dude says they are

And now I'm off to post some nonsense on Patreon. Hope to see you there.