Thursday, Day 0, Behind the Curtain

by InterNutter

Plague news: Four new cases, all local. One hundred and fifty-six total active cases, fifty nine are in hospital and one's in the ICU.

I'm feeling better about the world today and so is Beloved. The new normal's going to be fun to find for the both of us.

And this weekend? We're fixing the damn doors! Huzzah! At last! Reliable doors that the felines can't bust open. And shiny glittering doorknobs because I'm a human jackdaw.

Tomorrow... I make crumpets from the combined sourdough harvests of both Beloved and myself. Because I can't fuck up crumpets.

A glimpse at the news:

  • The people at Byron Bay want to turn that one Knomira from Sydney into a smear on the pavement
  • NSW finally cracks down as the cases continue to spike
  • Centrelink under fire for withdrawing payments to a centenarian because she can't prove her identity
  • Race to save a whale from fishing nets. Zero drinking straws found at the scene
  • Olympians don't want to spend 28 days in quarantine. Okay, snowflake
  • Latest hot celebrity trend is... NOT BATHING. WTF
  • Antivaxxers continue to cause problems
  • Muppet threatens a security guard who shot someone while doing their their job to PROTECT SENATORS DURING A COUP ATTEMPT. Fucking... I can't even
  • Prince "Randy Andy" Andrew still not talking to the FBI about Epstien's child sex trafficking ring
  • Man discovers his voice is still being used by KFC without being paid licensing fees for fourteen years
  • Liquor mob under fire for having a container that looks like choccy milk for kiddies
  • Knomiras throw tantrum over not getting the aisle seats, get kicked off plane

And now... storytime.