That was a new way to fuck up...

by InterNutter

So I remembered to post both of the catch-up linkages. Yay. Unfortunately, I forgot to post the linkage to yesterday's story. Whoops.

This will all no longer be a problem once I've caught up with the missing fictions.

What MIGHT be a problem is the fact that I keep the catch-up Instants' prompt count at thirteen and the "real" count on the present day fiction. One story will have thirteen prompts left, and another says less than ten.

That will also soon cease to be a problem real soon now.

If I get down to five prompts, I will go out on my social media and beg for prompts. And we all know I can hack it at zero. But I'd rather not.

So anything you want to challenge me with - go for it. Give me hard ones. Give me the weirdest thing you can think of. Give me a single word at random. Whatever tickles your strange, strange fancy. But I will never, ever do any single thing that endorses paedophilia. That's on my definite noperoo list.

It took me four and a bit firkin years, but I finally got a prompt that made me angry. Ugh.

Anyway. 'Nuff o' that.

I have created a single work of genius:

The Best Mashed Cauliflower in the World!

Implements
  • 1 handy cooktop-esque heat source
  • 1 method of steaming
  • 1 large no-stick frypan
  • Stirrers as needed
  • Mashin' stick
  • 1 Big ol' mixing bowl
Ingredients
  • 1 large cauliflower (dur) or two tiny ones if you can't find a big one
  • 1 fist-sized yellow onion
  • A handful and a half of bacon bits [let your conscience be your guide]
  • about 20-50g butter
  • salt, garlic salt, herbs and spices to taste
  • a ludicrous amount of mayonnaise
Instructions
  • Remove all the green stuff from your cauliflower and trim the nasty, dry end off
  • Chop up the cleaned cauliflower and stem and steam it so that it's butter soft
  • Peel and chop your onion
  • In a frypan, melt what feels like a criminal amount of butter, add the onions. Keep it on medium-high heat. We want bubbles, but no caramelisation at this point.
  • When the onions are golden, add the bacon, and a pinch or two of salt. You can also add other herbs here.
  • Keep it frying until it all starts to brown, then take it off the heat.
  • Pour the entire contents of the pan into a bowl and add garlic salt to taste. Or other herbs and spices if you haven't already done so
  • Add in your steamed cauliflower, and mash it roughly. You want fingertip little pebbles of cauliflower
  • Add your mayonnaise. This is definitely up to feel, and you want it to feel like potato salad. Stir that all in.

Serve as a side with dinner and watch your picky kids eat their veggies for a change. Or just scoff the lot as a comfort food.