Sunday, Day1, Slugfest

by InterNutter

I did all four loafs, yesterday. Three butts between two of them. I didn't check them all. They should be sliced, packed, and hoarded before I have a chance to do a butt count.

According to the government website, we're actually down to six active cases. The pre-Karen normal. Huzzah.

In the headlines:

  • Pro Muppet Repugnican Minions making an army [at which point does this become treason, my dude?]
  • Plague can turn blokes infertile. Better put on that mask, Davo
  • Idiot tried to get run over by the ponies in NZ, they dodged around him
  • Shoalhaven and Mudgee, NSW, are emerging as top destinations
  • Couple crash boat after finding surprise eight-legged passenger. Honestly, if you've seen a Huntsman, you can relate
  • NSW finally records zero cases. They must have finally locked up all the Karens
  • Europe bans export of plague jabs, but we already hoarded a fuckton. This might be WHY Europe banned the export of plague jabs. Fair suck o' the sav', mate
  • Biden publishes the stats Muppet wouldn't - and holy shit, it's terrible over there
  • Muppet claims he's more popular than ever
  • Newsfeed on my phone says he's been groomed as a KGB asset for forty firkin years
  • China still miffed about the rest of the world looking into this plague thing
  • Little girl offers pocket money for parents' dream house - wins big. The letter that came with was a deciding factor
  • Doctors debunk detox juice cleanses. Now if only they could debunk calories -in/calories-out
  • Woman goes viral for new way to tie a dressing gown
  • Drew Barrymore starts chat show in Aus
  • Bitcoin parody Dogecoin now worth >$6 BILLION wtf...
  • Trading app blasted for trying to stop the meme shares from skyrocketing

I'm enjoying Toasty's stream. Story much later.