Parents just don't understand adventuring...

“You think because you killed a few dragons that you’re some kind of big man? Too big to show your elders respect? I’m your mother, I once wiped your poopy bum with my bare hands, so I’m not impressed by your antics, mister ‘vanquisher-of-armies’.  Why don’t you ever visit, or at least write now and then?”

(#00834-B103)

Hrothgar the Mighty - Conquerer of All, Ruler of

the Five Kingdoms, Dragonslayer, Master of the Mighty Voice - took off

his skull helmet and hung it up. Wiped his boots, that had trodden on

the faces of his enemies, on the mat provided, and placed his mighty

sword in the hat-rack with all the umbrellas. “Sorry, mum. I got caught

up in stuff.”

“Caught up in stuff,” his mother echoed. “Caught

up in stuff.” She emerged from her work with the ever-present tea towel swirling around her hands. “You were hanging out with that gang, weren’t you?”

“Army, mother. I have armies now. And… um. I brought you some presents?”

She folded her arms. The tea towel took its perch on her shoulder. “Mm-hm.“

Hrothgar

the Mighty - Conquerer of All, Ruler of the Five Kingdoms, Dragonslayer, Master of the Mighty Voice - urgently ushered some of his

minions forwards. And rather more urgently signed that they should wipe

their feet.

“Behold! I bring you the rarest of black pearls, the

size of a man’s head! Wrenched from the grip of the Kraken at the bottom

of the deadly seas. The prized Eye of The Goddess of Light, given as a boon in a battle for her favour. The fabled Sword of Kroesos the

Conquerer, won by fighting it from his undead hands! Jewels from the

furthest realms! The rarest of cloths! Everything you could dream of.

And more!”

The mother of Hrothgar the Mighty - Conquerer of All,

Ruler of the Five Kingdoms, Dragonslayer, Master of the Mighty Voice -

pursed her lips. “You didn’t remember the dish soap at all, did you?”

Hrothgar

the Mighty - Conquerer of All, Ruler of the Five Kingdoms, Dragonslayer, Master of the Mighty Voice - smacked his forehead and

muttered, “D’oh!”

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