Monday, Day 0, Mor Bread

Mayhem is in the process of learning the process of bread. There's one case this morning from overseas, and the case count is up to twenty-five. Twenty-five potential moonmelon viral terrorists escaping because they feel fine and blablabla.

There's the UK strain, the Russian strain, the Californian strain. Honestly, I'm shocked that there isn't a Victoria strain, the way the entitled dipshits down there keep carrying on.

Today I have the house unfuckening, further progress on my novel, and the usual daily tale.

In the news:

• Queen snipes at Harry and Meghan during a public address
• CCTV captures woman's grizzly death by crushing
• Sydney Mardi Gras is still wild
• Reno adds 1.5mil to sale price
• Nicholas Cage marries a woman half his age
• Experts say our shop layouts are terrible

I am now going to try and commit fiction.