How to wash a cat's face and other random problems

It's 6:30AM, the temperature in my office is already a balmy 27.5 degrees [82 old school] and Mayhem is not doing so great.

There was upchuck, last night. Which Mayhem thoughtfully allowed to dry. And owing to a scheduling problem, Beloved was not available to help me swab all the scabs off of the cat's eye.

Chaos is being her usual sweet self and doing her star-quality Lump Impersonation instead of looking after herself. I've actually had to tell her that nobody can help her this morning to shift her out of Neutral.

In case you're wondering, here is how to wash a cat's face without grievous injury:

1) Gather yourself and one (1) assistant

2) Make sure you have a resilient bag

3) Mix up some tepid saltwater

4) Have at least two folded paper towels

5) Seize the cat

6) Insert cat into bag and close the opening so that only the head is exposed

7) Assistant holds the bag and the cat while you moisten the towels and swab the cat's face

8) Cat will be able to wriggle, but will not be able to tear you open from antecubital fossa to wrist

9) Continue until gunk is cleaned off of cat

10) Let cat out of bag

11) Dive for safety

12) Kitty will hate you for an hour or so. Or until cat is dry.

This morning has already been full of pissed-off feline, dried vomit cleanup, overheating, and inertia.

And the Koels are wurruping, so that means definite rain.

Mayhem is still crook. I'm pretty sure it's the heat. Short of getting him some heat-dispersal underduds, I don't know what else I can do. The meds don't seem to be working very well. Feeding him cold things works at home, but for school? Not a chance.

Hardly any of the air con is working, here, so that means more downtime with cold drinks. For more hours.

Nasty weather. Nasty, nasty weather. I'm feeling it and I can usually go as far as thirty-two degrees [90 old school] before I tap out.

Please give generously to the "We need some fucking air con NOW" fund, at the top of the page ;)