Fun with (decidedly non-Standard) Units

2000 Mockingbirds = 2 Kilomockingbirds

Basic Unit of Laryngitis = 1 Hoarsepower

453.6 Graham Crackers = 1 Pound Cake

1 Kilogram of Falling Figs - 1 Fig Newton

Time Between Slipping on a Banana Peel and Smacking the Pavement = 1 Bananosecond

Half of a Large Intestine = 1 Semicolon – RecklessPrudence

(#00362)

“Echo!”

The space whirling with birds now filled with imitations of Shayde’s voice saying ‘echo’.

This pleased her no end. “Oh aye, they’re mockin'birds.”

“A scan could have accomplished that,” sighed Rael.

“But a scan isnae nearly as much fun.”

“Our job is to scan the flock and come up with an estimated count, and if it’s above the limit, to cull the excess,” Rael explained. “It is not to have fun.”

“Aye… and how many kilomockin'birds is the limit then?”

He only had to look at the wide, fanged grin on her ebon face to tell that she had dropped a pun. “People like you are the reason we have Galactic Standard Measurements.”

“Well excuse me, mister cranky-pants. I didnae know ye left yer sense of humour at home.”

Rael sighed. It was going to be a long day.

*

Shifting crated fruit cargo, Shayde found a box of figs. “'Ere, if I dropped this, would ye measure it in fig newtons?”

“Must you try to cheer me up?” he almost wailed. This had been her tenth terrible pun.

Her grin faded away. Her luminescent eyes swirled from lets-have-fun autumnal tones through worried-yellow to soft gold. “I ken yer upset; an’ yer no’ that upset with me… I’m tryin’ tae take yer mind off it. Whatever it is.”

“They found another Faiize down a former one-way wormhole,” said Rael. “Wave of the Future are going to use them as some kind of excuse and drag legal proceedings on even further. It’s going to be a legal nightmare. Just when we were almost making progress…”

Shayde put down her figs on the cart and sighed. “Aye, that’s nowt tae laugh about.”

Finally.

All he had to do was talk about it. He may yet turn her somewhat civilised after all.

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