Fractal Wrongness

You are not just wrong. You are wrong at every conceivable level of resolution. Zooming in on any part of your worldview finds beliefs exactly as wrong as your entire worldview. – RecklessPrudence

(#00505 - A130)

“So?” said the wilfully ignorant specimen from Greater Deregulation (Upper West). “That don’t mean we can’t have a good time. All you gotta do, honey, is shut up, put out, and pretend to enjoy it.”

Shayde turned a pleading gaze to Rael, who was currently attempting to pretend he was a ghost only she could see. “Can I shred him now? Please?”

He didn’t look up from his deep-fried mars bar ice cream. “Ge’ creative,” he advised around a mouthful of calories a la mode.

“Tell ye woh, pal,” she said in the smooth tones of impending doom. Anyone Shayde called ‘pal’ was usually in for a brief and painful lesson about life. “You go find a wee phenomenon we have here called The Glunk. If ye can clean all'a that up wi'out any property damage, I’ll let ye take me out tae dinner.”

The deplorable specimen grinned. “I knew you couldn’t resist my charms, darling.”

Shayde was grinning too. Especially when he was leaving. “Good riddance tae bad rubbish.”

“That was slightly cruel.”

“I’m only worried he might do it,” she said. “Nothin’s more creative than a feller who thinks he’s got a chance of getting 'is end in.”

Rael boggled. “I knew you humans were insane, but– a category five bio-disaster? Nothing’s been able to clean that up since its discovery.”

“Should'a aimed a horny human at it. ’S why I said 'dinner’ and not 'date’. Monkey’s paw. Deal wi’ t’ devil.”

One day, he was sure, one day, he would be able to unravel Shayde’s encrypted speech patterns on the fly.

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