Fanfic time: Misfits part 63

Continued from yesterday:

  Unfortunately for Todd, Sara was in Study Hall. Interesting. Today’s package included a handwritten puzzle from the good Professor[1]. She saved it for last, ticking her way through the printed work in record time.

  Aha. Just as she suspected. A trick question from a college-level math board. One the Big Kids were having trouble with, no doubt.

  Sara hummed to herself as she worked. This bit went there… this part cancelled out… if you used one scientist *here*, it went one way, and another, the other. Sara traced the divergent paths. Alternate realities. If things went differently, one way or another… Sara made a note in the margin, _What with mathematical proof, was there any doubt to the existence of alternate realities?_

  The bell rang. For the first time in her history in the advanced classes, her work was unfinished. Was she slipping? Was this an indicator of a deficiency somewhere? And yet, the man had *said* to take her time.

  Was it another test? How long were the adults expected to take on it?

In this panicked haze, she made her way to Art.

  Todd was looking similarly shellshocked. “Bad vibes, dear?”

  “Guten Morgen.”

  Him again. Sara began her experiment, humming the theme from _Hogan’s Heroes_ just on the edge of hearing.

 [1] Too lazy to dig through my own archives to see who was in charge of Sara’s correspondence courses.

~

  Todd’s face went blank as he snapped his gaze to the front of the class. Fuck. Was the man *stalking* him? Manny looked at him, surprised to see him there but seemed to recover. He smiled at Todd and began the morning preamble about why the art teacher was out for the day, due to family business. Any second he was going to take roll. Todd’s fingers curled under the desk. He couldn’t leave. If he left and if ‘Todd Tolensky’ was the only one absent, he was fucked. If he stayed and 'Kenny Cartman’ didn’t come up on the roll and Todd Tolensky did, he was fucked. There was nothing he could do but pray that by being in class, Manny wouldn’t be able to do a thing. He shot Sara a desperate look. 

  “Allright then, Herr Cartman?”

  Jesus F– “Yah,” Todd said shortly, looking down at his desk. Several students looked at him in confusion. He prayed God to keep their mouths shut. Not that it would matter. 

  “I thought you were in class first period?" 

  "Er, I didn’t feel well earlier. And my next was free. So I’m just sittin’ in this one. Done it before - Mrs. D said it was allright.” And he’d just explained why Kenny Cartman wouldn’t come up on this period’s roll. Wahey. So long as nobody else reacted when he didn’t say 'here’ to Todd Tolensky. 

  “Ah." 

  Students were muttering to each other, wondering where Tolensky suddenly got the cajones to tell a teacher he’d skipped first period. Which was a funny thing - at the moment Todd couldn’t give less of a shit about detention. But Manny hadn’t even graduated to highschool let alone get a teaching degree, so he didn’t know the new rules. He shrugged and looked in his shoulderbag for the attendance roll. Todd locked eyes with Sara. Help, he pleaded.

~

  He took a majority of the roll in a sort of zen fog. Sara Adrien was the girl Todd was involved with, and she was here. Today would be something of an opportunity to observe her and solve the puzzle of the so-far invisible Toad.

  "Todd Tolensky.”

  “He’s here,” said Sara. “In my heart.”

  The class laughed.

  “Very amusing,” he growled. “Why is he not here?”

  “I know nothing,” said Sara. “Noth-ing.”

  More titters.

  Manny sighed. “Where *is* he?”

  “My love doth follow in my shadow,” she recited, “For he is everywhere with me. My love doth speak in the wind–”

  Someone made a fart noise.

  “Thankyou… –for every word he whispers follows me. My love doth–”

  “*Thank* you, Fraulein,” he snarled. “That is more than *enough*. Let us get on with this, nein?”

  Manny read from the appropriate text, but something mosquito-esque was tweaking his attention. He turned to draw a diagram and, as he did so, the something took shape.

 …hum, hum, hum, hum hm-hm-hm humhum… hm-hm-hm humhumhum hm-hm-hm-hm-hummm…

  He looked back at the class and a sea of innocent faces.

  …hum, hum, hum, hum hm-hm-hm-hm-hum… hm-hm-hm-hm-hum hummmm…

  Evidently, this hummer was a master or mistress of circular breathing. He couldn’t pick up who was doing it from their breathing patterns.

  “Who is humming?” he demanded.

  Half the class erupted with, “I know *noth*-ing!” and fell into fits. Even the nervous Mr Cartman managed a watery smile.

  Thereafter, various episodes of humming erupted sporadically about the classroom. Where one stopped, another would start. Always on the edge of hearing. In one turn, it was the theme from _Hogan’s Heroes_, in another, it was the _Great Escape_. He’d turn around twice and someone else would be humming music from _Chicken Run_, of all things.

  It was driving him slowly insane.

  “You are supposed to be vorking,” he snapped. “Humming is not vorking.”

  “Jawohl, herr commandant,” said an anonymous wag.

  The bell rang and he fled for the safety of the halls.

+

  Sara burst out laughing the instant 'Herr Haufmann’ left the room. “That was almost karmic,” she chirped. “Don’t you just adore the collective subconscious?”

  Todd was shaking like a leaf.

  “Dear? Are you all right?”

~~

  That had been way too fucking close. Todd gulped a few times and nodded to Sara’s question. It was decided. He was going to tell Principal Kelly about this. There wasn’t time to go through the counsellor - all he’d need to tell Kelly anyway was that Manny had broken parole and that Todd recognised him - he was related to Todd after all. Surely it should be enough for Kelly to call the police in on his ass? But then again, this was Kelly. 

  Todd couldn’t tell Sara. Not because she didn’t have the right to know - quite the opposite in fact. But if she did know, and if Haufmann turned Todd into another nervous wreck, Sara might do something that got herself in trouble. To everyone else, Manny was still Mr. Haufmann. To Kelly, Mr. Haufmann was the teacher he’d hired and Kelly was the last to admit he’d made a mistake. 

  That left the Professor. Maybe Xavier could straighten this out. And Todd could imagine explaining what had happened to Xavier a lot better than he could imagine himself explaining to Kelly. Kelly would ask questions. Kelly would push for too much information, while Xavier would allow Todd to be vague and come up with the right conclusions. 

  Right. Xavier it was. 

  Todd suddenly realized he’d been thinking of all this and that the bell had rung. His hands were still clenched around the edge of the desk and Sara was gently prising them off. She looked at him and he raised his head to meet her gaze. “Ran into him in the hall,” was all Todd was able to get out by way of explanation. It wasn’t a lie, technically, neither was it the whole truth. He felt awful, but he didn’t want Sara getting in trouble on his account.

  “Ah,” Sara said. It was all she said. Todd didn’t know if she’d figured it out or if she was mad at him,which was ridiculous for all that her hands were gentle as she lifted him to his feet. She didn’t pry. Todd was grateful. 

  “So how’d your morning go?” he asked, not letting go of her hands.

~

  “He makes you nervous,” said Sara. “I know the feeling.” She kissed his forehead and wrapped her arms around him. “False identity, blatant lying… the man could be up to *anything*. Is nobody else properly paranoid in this entire school? Or does Kelly just check for police priors and take a resume at face value?”

  Todd clung to her like the proverbial drowning man, making a non-commital murmur.

  “C'mon, sweetie. We have to get out of here before we get nabbed for loitering.”

  He laughed at that. It was the ghost of a laugh on a bad day, but at least it was a laugh.

  Next up, Advanced English and the joys of studying Common Language Shakespeare. _Ugh. Shakespeare Lite._ She stayed linked with Todd, escorting him to his locker, then allowing him to accompany her to hers, and finally choosing seats together in class.

  Only then did she abandon him to buttonhole their teacher.

  “Are you familliar with a Mr Haufmann?” she asked.

  “Er… vaguely. He’s been asking a lot of questions about Mr Tolensky.”

  “Do us both a favour and don’t give him many answers?”

  “Ha! He already struck me as having an unhealthy interest. There’s something drastically wrong with that man.”

  “Hmp. Starting with his identity,” Sara muttered. A hovering shadow near the door caught her attention. Adult height. Weaving to and fro as if trying to spot something. Now. How to spot him without giving away her magic skin…

  Sara turned back to her desk and 'noticed’ him. “Herr Haufmann! If you keep following me around like this I might expect a valentines card. Too bad I’m already taken, sir. And not precisely legal…”

  The in-flowing hordes laughed and 'Haufmann’ turned pink and stormed away.

  “Goodnight! Goodnight! Parting is such sweet sorrow,” she mocked, then slumped into her seat. “Get thee to a nunnery,” she muttered. Only once they were safe did she reach over and pat Todd’s hand.

  He was afraid. Of Haufmann or someone just like him… and Haufman had an 'unhealthy interest’ in Todd Tolensky. Was he a predator?

  “Sara?”

  “Hm?” She startled. “There if I grow, The harvest is your own.”

  “That’s not the text we’re reading, and it’s not the answer.”

  “I’m sorry, my mind was elsewhere.”

  “What were the witches prophesying?”

  “We’re only up to the witches?” Laughter. “Okay. Banquo is going to be the father of a king, and Macbeth will be king, but also lord of Crawdor - despite the fact that the Thane of Crawdor is still alive at this point in the story.”

  “That’s better… And what device is Shakespeare using in this particular scene?”

  “Foreshadowing with a mallet?”

  More laughter. She was getting good at this 'funny’ thing.

~