Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 56

Footnotes to the very much NSFW fic below the cut:

Appendix: Side-flings, Homages, and Downright Rip-offs

Kurt’s Masks are:

The Perfectionist: Mostly mute, only talks to Kurt inside his head. Never speaks to others. Demands absolute clinical perfection. From everything they do. Has OCD.

RagDoll: Catatonic. Has no speech, no thought.

Das Kinder: Kurt stuck at age four. The innocent of the group. Broke off to *be* the innocent one.

Hure: Bisexual, incredibly open minded, keeps wondering who ‘payed for' him if it isn’t clear. Willing to do just about anything for money.

Fight: The warrior of the group. Main function is to keep the Monsters down.

Flight: Just there to get them the hell *out* of a threatening situation.

The Archivist: In charge of *all* memories. Even the bad ones.

The Wild One: basically, all instincts and very little sentience.

The Monsters: Group mind, can work individually. They have no names, and are everything Kurt is not. Once out, they can only be put back by contact with Holy Ground.

Okay. Now for the annotations.

1. Scent of a Predator

The title, of course, is a play on the movie, _Scent of a Woman_ - which I haven’t actually *seen* yet. Oh well…

Staff turnover at Bayville High – Come on. You *don’t* think people would quit that place as if it had the plague? Monsters, earthquakes, strange happenings…

Rosafarben is German for “pink”.

Confusion over Kurt’s country of origin – a side-fling to Alaer Kino's fic _Trick'n'Love Game_, where idiots keep thinking he’s from France. I just *love* that mental image…

mein flockiger Damon - my fuzzy demon

“…so then I’m like, 'nuh-*uh*’, and he’s all like, 'yah’ and I'm like, 'bu-bye, loser’ and he goes - he goes…” – I just wanted to see how long I could go without having any actual *content* to Kitty's diatribe… It’s also slightly riffing an old routine from a _Comedy Company_ sketch, from way back when they were actually *funny*.

'Bilden Sie ihn richtig, Schwarzeschmutz aus, oder ich jage Ihren vollstandigen Stamm unten’ – 'Train him correctly, negro filth, or I'll hunt down your entire tribe’. That’s what I plugged into Babel Fish to get it :)

“Don’t you have homework to do?” – is it me, or do all adults ask this when they’re asked a question they don’t want to answer?

Schmerzmann – literally, 'pain man’. My story is that young Kurt went quiet whenever he was hurt, and the old 'show me on the doll’ routine didn’t work because no dolls were quite like our favourite fuzzball. His Mama solved the problem by making his -er- mascot. Yeah. That’s what it is. A mascot. ;)

2. A Pleasant Interlude

“Hey, *relax*. Nobody’s gonna notice a thing. We’ll only be gone a few minutes.” – whenever one teenager says this to another, trouble is in the wind. It’s a law of nature or something.

_Her mouth tastes like applesauce…_ – Kurt’s thoughts are similar to Bart’s words about the bad-girl preacher’s daughter in an episode of _The Simpsons_ :)

There were two chandeliers. This was something of an open invitation. – You’re a trained acrobat who feels far more comfortable upside-down than right side up. Are *you* going to turn down an opportunity to swing? Thought not.

Statleindorf is derived from Statler and Waldorf, muppet hecklers from the _Muppet Show_

Kurt’s stage name - die Fleidertuefel - means “The Flying Devil” and I made it up out of whole cloth. It’s *mine*.

Mrs Nesbit, of course, is a recurring name used by Disney.

I had to physically stop myself from writing the whole day. It was really very sad and bittersweet. A three-kleenex deal.

3. Girls Can Rape Guys

They can, too. It’s very difficult to define, and even harder to prosecute. I don’t think any man has ever successfully pressed a rape charge against a female.

Tabby’s little message on the mirror is all Kurt needed to define the previous night as 'rape’ - basically because of a whole buttload of bad memories. For the record, they didn’t get into anything bolder than a little mild BDSM.

Kurt’s Uncle Wolf is another made-up person. Basically, he’s the gypsy that gives other gypsies a bad name. Lying, stealing, breaking into things, etc. He taught Kurt a rather large number of unsavoury habits as 'survival skills’ and Kurt usually doesn’t use them.

Nobody *ever* mentions how tough it is to teleport, and it’s starting to tick me off >:(

4. Other Pains

“You can’t get pregnant the first time.” – Lots and lots of people all over the world owe their existence to this particular lie.

“I’m gonna die if I don’t” – another big lie guys use on inexperienced girls to get their way. Don’t believe a word of it and knee him in the nuts, ladies.

Something about me just *loves* writing primitive minds. I don’t know what it is, it just appeals to me.

5. No Sense

Yes, I know the Archivist doesn’t *have* emotions, but he can use them when necessary.

“Ich bin Ihr flockiges Pluschspielzeug, Liebe. Ich halte die Alptraume weg” – “I’ll be your fuzzy plush toy, love. I’ll keep the nightmares away”

“The mask was just supposed to be a way of facing an audience if I got scared” – true acting exercise to combat stage fright. You make yourself 'become’ a character for a while. This can be troublesome for some people. Sometimes the character 'follows’ an actor home. Sometimes the mask takes them over. Sometimes they fight. It gets complicated.

6. Back to School

“Someone had blown up his locker, and several others surrounding it had payed the price, too.” – who else here thinks Tabby has only one way of dealing with her problems? Thought so.

“…mi mi mi mi mimi…” – said sotto voice and in the same rythm as the last words spoken by the enemy. The usual 'witty comeback’ used in high school whenever the bully was out of hearing range.

Faboo – taken wholesale from the _Animaniacs_. I love 'em.

“Kurt growled at her and siezed her/his shirt by its neck. A little twist. A little turn. A little pressure on the collarbone and he had her pinned against the lockers and choking.” – there is a way you can grab someone by their shirt-collar and get their undivided attention. It’s a knack.

“I make a woman out of her…” – Lance is seriously deluded, here, following the mindset of certain of my contemporaries - believing that you weren’t 'adult’ until you 'did it’. Seriously, sadly, majorly deluded.

“Come off it. Everyone *knows* that after a girl gets some, she can't stop.” – yet another myth about feminine sexuality. This one 'lets' deluded guys think they can gang up on a girl because she’s 'pretending not to want it’. IMO, all males who think like this should be neutered with the rustiest, dullest blade anyone can find.

7. Get out!

Egress is another word for 'exit’ :)

Autobahn is German for 'highway’. I used it to add a little character to the narrative. As for the trivia factlet - I have no clue. I just made up something that sounded about right.

“…storm front is expected to continue moving eastwards.” – this is a riff from a beer advert that’s popular over here. The beer, FYI, is _Carlton Cold_ or something of the like. I don’t partake, owing to allergies.

“Ah saw him…” – Maybe it’s just me, but a lot of the witnesses that the media interview are hardly intelligible.

Jeff, Truckdriver, is patterned a little on Jeff Foxworthy, one of my favourite comedians.

I love writing the Media. They’re so *good* at stating the obvious…

8. Interview

“Ich bin ihre Liebling Laune…” – I plugged in 'I am her favourite freak’ and got this.

I love the idea of head-hopping as a teep vice.

Because someone out there was repeatedly hitting his soul with a metaphorical hammer. – I just love this phrase. It’s so - evocative :)

9. Holy Ground

The last subtitle read, “[In German] I am their favourite mood.” – when I plugged my German phrase from chapter 8 into BabelFish and translated it back, this is what I got. Strange, but true.

meine kleine Kirche – my little church

“Wie kann ein Teufel einen Engel wie Sie lieben?” – “How can a devil love an angel like you?” Clearly, Kurt has some serious image issues, here.

Why had she wasted her time with ashtray-breath? – It’s true. Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray. Disgusting.

10. Desire

“Ich fast beendete. Ich bin nicht sicher, gleichmassig auf heiligem Boden” – “I nearly killed. I’m not safe, even on Holy ground”

11. Blades of Memory

The Karma Sutra is actually a religious book. Trust Hess to pervert it into something else.

People with MPD suffer greatly when one of their personas 'die’. It’s as real to them as a death in the family.

The 'bad blood’ referenced here and in further chapters concerning the tile incident is menstrual blood. It smells kinda funky.

12. Guarding Broken Treasure

Romany are intensely family-oriented. Considering the vast amounts of opposition they get from the rest of the world - who else can they really trust?

Fotze – Heh :#) Part of the female anatomy. Starts with a C.

Dummer Junge – stupid boy

13. Close Calls

“Maybe if I lost a couple *more* pounds, he’d like me again” – one part of the alleged logic behind eating disorders. Do not fall prey.

Schatz – sweetheart

Nacht in der Blute – Night in Bloom

Sie gehoren mir, kleiner Damon. Erinnern Sie sich an das. – you are mine, little demon. Remember that.

14. Stimulus and Response

Was ist der Stoff? – What’s the matter?

15. An Encounter in the Mall

The whole encounter with Lance is taken from Kaz Cooke’s book _Up The Duff_, as noted in the author’s note :)

I don’t know *quite* where I got the “Fuck you/you wish” routine, but it was probably from high school. We were quite crude, back then.

Arschloch – Asshole

Tapferes Madchen – brave girl

She was leaning on a corner and holding a cigarette in a little 'ok' sign in her hands. – Europeans hold their ciggies between their finger and thumb. Americans use two fingers. I haven’t watched the air polluters in Australia long enough, but I think we go the American way…

16. Things That Make You Go AUGH!

The title’s a play on the song title, _Things That Make You Go Mmmm_, and of course, deliberate acknowledgement of the fact that I’m torturing you :D

The whole apple thing is a play on the Garden of Eden story. Guess who the snake is?

Ambisinister is a word made up by Terry Pratchett, meaning lousy with both hands.

Gluckwunsche – congratulations

17. Hess’ Games: Hide And Seek

Ether makes you feel as sick as a dog when you wake up from it.

“Ruhe, bitte… Mistress ist wutend an Ihnen.” – Quiet, please… Mistress will be angry.

kind – child

Honey and meat ants – something I was always threatened with in Primary school. You smear the victim in the honey, then you tie them down near the meat ants.

“Aus Ihnen kommen Sie” – Out you come

“Falsche Monsters erhalten nicht eingezogen” – bad monsters don’t get fed

“Ich bin ein Tuefel” – I am a devil

“Ich bin taurig, meine arme Tochter” – I’m sorry, my poor daughter

They both looked solidly at the floor while they got dressed. – True phenomenon. People can go through all sorts of hell, naked together, and still look away as they get dressed. Bizarre.

“Schones hubsches” – lit. “beautiful pretty”

18. Hess’ Games: Blind Man’s Bluff

gescheites Madchen – clever girl

Something icky going up Kitty’s pants – this is a movie *classic*. Heroine lets mouse/rat/tarantula/scorpion/whatever crawl on her rather than let the villain find her. So cool.

19. Way Out

bint is another word for 'daughter’

Logan calling Hess 'darling’ – Logan calls all blokes 'bub’ and all females 'darling’ until further notice

Tarantulas are, apparently, not poisonous. Me? I wouldn’t gamble.

20. Slow-Healing Wounds

geliebtes – beloved

_Real Gorgeous_ by Kaz Cooke – This should be every young girl’s bible. Lots of stuff on the beauty industry and body image.

Sie sind willkommen – You’re welcome

21. Damage Control

Bluebelle is reading from _Green Eggs and Ham_ a Seuss classic.

“Guten Morgen, Mama! Weckte ich Sie auf? Nein? Wunderbar” – Good morning, Mom! Did I wake you? No? Wonderful

Grossartigtochter – granddaughter

Wer sind Sie? Wo sind Sie? – Where are you? Who are you?

Claire and Lucien are vampires from the wicked webcomic _Bite Me_ at: http://projectkooky.com/dylan/biteme/biteme.html It’s a very fun site ;)

22. Discoveries

Never eat at a greasy spoon diner called “good eatin’”. It almost invariably *isn’t*.

Trish and Earl are recurring handy names. I swear.

Chagny is the last name of Raoul from _The Phantom of the Opera_

Nie wieder is the catchcry of anti-Nazis everywhere. Some lessons of history should never be repeated. Hell, they shouldn’t even be poked at with a long stick…

23. The Ties That Bind

Matt Murdock is the DareDevil. I just happened to make him a mutant :)

24. Chain Reaction

Some part of me just loves spit-takes. I don’t know why.

ObTrivia: It’s very difficult to change the eyes with plastic surgery.

And his little twig, too. – A riff on _The Wizard of Oz_, naturally.

25. Survivors

Kitty’s weight thing – I just think she’s drawn a little thin, you know. Plus I like the idea of her having borderline anorexia for the purposes of the story :)

Size 10 is a tool of the Devil. I swear. Why *this* size got deemed to be 'perfect’ I shall never know. It’s phenomenally rare to find anyone who’s a natural size 10 these days.

“thin equals love” – another one of the tenets behind eating disorders. It’s a meme that should be destroyed, IMO

26. Faces of Fear

Aspidestras are a favourite plant of mine. They make cameos everywhere.

Jamie unknowingly plays Kurt’s 'game’ of hide-and-peek in order to ease Bluebelle’s fears about him.

Later, Jamie is reading to Bluebelle from Terry Pratchett’s book _The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents_ A very funny book :)

27. Making Friends

gekommen – come

“…telling her stories from the time when Daddy was a little boy…” – grandparents do this. It’s revenge for all the stuff their kids did to them.

I decided I needed something for comic relief, given the upcoming nastiness in the chapters ahead. Hence, Mr/Ms Peeper.

28. Confessions

Papa voices my own thoughts on my growing fic. It *was* turning into a soap opera.

Wir lieben Sie – We love you [formal, regrettably, because of BabelFish]

Parents also tell friends, relatives and complete strangers Embarrassing Baby Stories. It’s part of their parenting licence.

Romany and Jews *do* get along. It comes from being persecuted for thousands of years.

29. Adventures

Lance’s bad smell is the odour of stale cigarettes. Next to that, Todd smells like a rose.

“Mmmm, mmm. *Love* those butterflies…” – a side-fling to one of Red_Witch’s fics in which the Brotherhood go to the zoo.

I made up Wanda’s childhood personality out of whole cloth. Obviously, she’s changed by now.

30. Adventures Part 2

Scheissekopf – shithead

Possessed eggs – a tribute to a screamingly funny [IMO] episode of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ in which - you guessed it - possessed eggs take over people and do the bidding of some demon in the school basement.

“…wishing for normalcy is wishing for more weirdness…” – I just *adore* the logic of this argument. It took me a while to work it out, too :)

Dante’s Peak is the name and location of a volcano disaster movie.

SimBabies are little baby-sized robots with internal sensors, etc. They do just about everything a real baby does. Especially cry.

“Erinnern Sie sich, an wem Sie bildete, Erinnern Sie sich, an was Sie sind. Erinnern Sie, an wem Sie gehoren.” – Remember who made you. Remember what you are. Remember who you belong to.

31. Sabotage

Kelly’s comment is taken from the expression, “to rearrange deckchairs on the Titanic”, meaning to engage in a completely useless activity in dire circumstances.

32. The Blade Cuts

I just love the idea that Kurt is sexually experienced, yet doesn’t know the first thing about menstruation. I just think it’s funny, is all. In an ironic way, of course.

33. Recovery

A strong enough painkiller will knock a person right out. Unfortunately, when you have a metabolism like a furnace, that strong enough painkiller is ordinary paracetamol or codeine.

“Lots of things happen in broad daylight…” – very true speech. Most injustices are perpetrated in broad daylight, and nobody does anything because it’s 'not their problem’.

34. Defence

Talking to dead people is the habit of one Lord Miles Vorkosigan, as written by Lois McMaster Bujold. Look them up, sometime.

35. Six Degrees

The title’s in reference to the game, _Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon_, where you connect people to the man of the title.

“Take a breath before you pass out” – a line taken from a _Calvin and Hobbes_ comic

36. Justice

This chapter intentionally left unreferenced

37. Grandstanding

Mason is named after Perry Mason; and in fact you’re supposed to think he *is* Perry Mason until you get to his first name ^_^

“Die ist meine Zahl Opa! Du Fotze! Mach es dir selber und wurfel, du Arschgesicht!” – That’s my Grampa’s number! You c*nt! Go fuck yourself and die, you assface!

“Ich beende Sie selbst!” – I’ll kill you myself!

38. Adjusting

_Submitted for your approval…_ – it’s a riff from the Twilight zone, and a very obvious one at that. And yes, the guitar *did* play before they did the fanfare to the opening of an episode.

_Sparkle, sparkle._ – What Shirley Temple’s mother told Shirley before each performance.

I *just* realised that a funnier set of names for the Richardses would be Patty and Selma. Sigh. So many lost opportunities… *Any*way. Lus is short for Lucinda. Just FYI.

Rod Searling was the presenter for _The Twighlight Zone_ and _Night Gallery_, shows where reality got turned on its ear :)

39. Helping to Forget

This chapter intentionally left unreferenced

40. Forcing to Remember

“You killed me.” – a riff from Buck Godot’s adventure _P.SmIth_

The General is a manufacture of mine, patterned vaguely after Elvis Presley’s Colonel, but definitely after the worst examples of intolerant humanity.

41. A Little Slice

The Centaurs of Heirelgart owe a lot of their existance to Donna Barr and her creation _Stinz_. In one of her comics, she mentions gypsy centaurs, and a few of their physical traits; like being physically larger than 'normal’ centaurs and tending to have gold horse-halves.

If there *are* elves in the black forest, they’re certainly not talking to anyone.

“Mein Damon, Lassen Sie die Gefangenen und die Speicher frei sein.” – My demon, let the prisoners and the memories be free.

42. Broken

The flicking personas is borrowed from a Miles Vorkosigan book. I forget the name of the story, but the key point is that someone sabotaged a mnemonic chip, and the victim was lost in time as a direct result.

43. Shattered Past

The title is a play on the episode title, _Shadowed Past_

Part of my continuity is that something horrid always happens around Kurt’s A-day. I may explore this idea further in another fic.

44. Strength

Has anyone else noticed that Xavier’s really tight about secrets that he aught to share with the people involved?

knabe – boy/lad - dialect

45. Survival

Colourblind, in this case, means that the people spoken about don’t care what colour a person is.

“Why did you throw a fit in the middle of the courtroom?” – A more apt question would be, 'why does the Media ask bloody stupid questions.

“You have no power over me” – a line from Jim Henson’s _Labyrinth_, one of the coolest movies on the planet, IMHO.

46. Damning Testimony

Most of the testimony references past chapters.

Blood *stinks* when it goes off. Hess’ basement would have been unbearable.

47. An Excercise in Surrealism

Kasegewicht – cheese-weight. Used to imply that the person spoken about weighs about the same as a wheel of cheese. Obviously, this is a childhood nickname.

Fassfuss – barrel-foot. Used to imply that the person spoken about has big feet. No argument there.

Gekommen auf – come on

Verpiss dich – piss off

I grew up with chickens [ObUselessFactlet: What Americans call 'baby chickens’ Aussies call 'chickens’. The adults are called 'chooks’] so I know most, if not all, of their weird little habits/noises/whatever

And yes, I know you don’t need a rooster to get eggs. They *do* help, sometimes, though.

Jarod Endicott *is* meant to be the Pretender, of the series of the same name.

48. Home Away From Home

Romani/Romany – for the record, the accepted spelling is 'Romany’ with a 'Y’. I use the terminal 'I’ because Germans tend to spell like that, and to indicate that these gypsies are German gypsies.

He pitied them. – For someone who abhors pity, this is apt revenge :)

Just imagine it with me: twenty years in a mental ward with Raven Darkholme picking away at your sanity. Hell on Earth, in my humble opinion.

49. Peace in Another’s Arms (part one)

Einfach, Madchen – easy, girl

50. Peace in Another’s Arms (part two)

The one-in-ten technique outlined here, and in the next chapter, is a real technique to help a lady climax.

51. Peace in Another’s Arms (part three)

Tantric sex is all about delaying orgasm to achieve a higher state of consciousness.

“Hubches Dame, Ich bin Ihre, fur Immer.” – Pretty Lady, I am yours, forever.

Skyclad is an old and rather poetic synonym for 'nude’. I rather like it.

52. Home and Healing

Centaurs have far more acute smell and hearing than mere mortals.

“And maybe someone else, too.” – liberated from a conversation in Terry Pratchett’s _Wyrd Sisters_ about the Doit de Signeur.

“It never pays to pry into the affairs of Centaurs, Because a hoof to the ribs often offends.” – Plagiarised from the old 'never meddle in the affairs of wizards…’ saying.

Gekommen sie – lit. 'come you’ but mostly used for 'come here’

Lots of Hallmark movies seem to feature kids being taken away from their parents by government men. Odd, that.

53. Full Circle, Sort Of

I like the idea of coming full circle. It’s just satisfying to me :)

“An asthmatic girl with a pale face and red hair.” – my hair was more brownish, but I simplified things for animation. Yes, that’s my cameo, right there.

“He’s late” – _Waiting for Godot_

Salsbury Steak Day – a side-fling to _South Park_, probably with altered spelling…

…there’s just something hypnotising about the idea of Logan in drag…

54. Trick or Treat

Footlets do kinda look like weird little tea bags when you take 'em out of their packet.

I think most of the side-flings in this chapter are pretty darn obvious…

Honig – honey

wir sind nicht Tiere – we’re not animals

55. Epilogue

Everyone needed a hobby. – Liberated from a _Deep Space Nine_ episode, _The Alternate_ - wherein Odo confesses that death rituals are a hobby of his.

Kurt’s Adoption Day [A-Day] is the 20th of September. Just in case you were wondering.

And not *one* kid in the entire room had even had anything red to eat or drink, yet. – the ancient Australian 'Red Cordial’ joke resurfaces again [See the PWP _Red Dye 366_ for further elaboration]

A jot, for the terminally curious, is the dot above the lowercase 'j’. An Iota is the dot above the lowercase 'i’. A tittle is the crosspiece on the lowercase ’t’. Fascinating, no?