"Did you hear the one about the two humans?"

What if the majority (or at least a statistically-notable percentage) of the Galactic Community had mating seasons, like most animals do, so that as a result, with humanity’s decidedly non-seasonal “anytime and anywhere” sexual biology, we’re the butt of a million planets’ cheezy and/or stereotype-based dirty jokes…

[AN: Trigger warning: rape mention]

(#00721 - A356)

Of course, humans supplied some of them. Nothing cycles around quicker than a recycled joke.

“How many humans does it take to screw in a light bulb?”

“Two or more, but it’s anyone’s guess how they got in there!”

Or:

“Three humans walk into a bar… one of them would have seen it, but they were all too busy with foreplay!”

Or:

“Ya gotta love the humans, right? I mean, they’ll find a way to love you.”

Or:

“How do you capture a human? Moisten a hole and wait five minutes.”

And:

“Humans have to be insane. They invented rape, and then they invented ways to get out of calling it that.”

The humans didn’t always laugh at that one. It was, as the comedians discussed, a joke that required the audience to know its own history.

Shayde laughed the hardest at it, but then, she was more intimately familiar with the atmosphere that generated the joke. And then -much to Rael’s horror- she buttonholed the poor sod who’d been at the open mic’ to discuss it.

“Oh aye, there was loads of it,” she said to his luckless rictus. “If ye were a gerl, ye didnae have a chance even if ye taped it. Men had a career tha’ women could ruin by speakin’ oot, ye ken. An’ the entire social structure was rigged in his favour. What was she wearin’, how much had she had tae drink, did she willin'ly do it before, did she say ‘yes’ up until the last minute, did she lead him on, what was her reputation like, did she scream, why wasnae she awake tae scream, did she fight, how stupid was she to fight and finally - what proof does she have that it happened at all. It was a horror show.”

The comedian, to Rael’s shock and awe, was dutifully writing this down. “This is horrifying. The exact line between comedy and tragedy. What else did they do?”

“Aw, there was a whole classification system after my time. Legitimate rape, near-rape, real rape, drunk rape, drug rape, date rape… ye get the idea. And loads of 'em didn’t know they were doin’ it. The absence of a 'no’ an’ all that.”

“Completely disgusting. This is right up my alley, but I’m afraid it’ll take a while to turn it into jokes.”

“Lemme know when ye do,” said Shayde. “I’d love tae know how it’s funny.”

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