December 23, 2012

Some say it’s the end of the world. Some say it’s a new beginning. I like the latter. Namely, because people of all kidneys have been predicting the end of the world since time immemorial and not one of them got it right.

So. Here’s a few of my predictions for that particular day.

1) Squid-all nothing/business as usual. Yup. It’s going to be just another day when the world didn’t end.

2) Civil war between the rich and the poor. It’s growing to a head. You can almost feel the revolution coming. And it won’t be pretty.

3) The end of the civil war between the rich and the poor. In the event that the revolution starts early, this will be the day it ends. For good or ill.

4) Aliens finally arrive for reals. They demand an explanation for all the bullshit we’ve generated about them. We are generally treated how white folks treat the Native Americans [or Native Anywhere’s for that matter]. It will take some hundreds of years to reach even partial equality.

5) Commercial colonies off-planet begin. Whether the launch of the mission or the landing, or the completion of the first building, I don’t care. Some corporate-sponsored colony will commence and begin ruining the fuck out of another planet. 

6) Atlantis resurfaces. Merfolk living there demand an explanation for all the bullshit we’ve generated about them. Or declare war.

7) Mutants/magic/unicorns/whatever is real and scientifically verified. People go freaking nuts.

8) Warp speed/teleportation accomplished. Civilisation as we know it is turned upside-down. Virii sweep the world in global pandemics. When the dust clears, we realise everything has changed when we weren’t looking.

9) Time travel/temporal viewing is accomplished. Thousands of arguments over who said what and when are solved. Divorce rate increases by 300%.

10) The whole world catches telepathy. The results are not pretty. Think about it.

Those are my best and worst guesses. Anyone else have predictions for 2012? I promise to share the best or most hilarious ones with some extra blather from my good self.

What say you?