Challenge #00797-B066: The Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Really Bad Idea

“This year’s human sacrifice features something very special- actual humans!”

“What were they sacrificing before?” murmured Edilade “Soy humans?”

“Best not to ask,” whispered Janet. “You have any of those smoke bombs I told you to dispose of?”

“Of course not.”

“Well, gimme some of those smoke bombs you don’t have.” Janet had already escaped the natives’ shackles. They all had. Being a scavenger crew meant that they were all prepared for the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. “Five each should do it.”

Edilade grinned. “Are we gonna pull the Boom Shakalaka?”

Janet considered this, “Eeeeehhh… maybe a hybrid of Boom and Maresidoats. We don’t want them worshiping us by accident.”

“So… running under a hail of spears, then.”

“Be grateful they haven’t invented archery. Or long-range accuracy.”

The captain burned fuel a little faster, getting away from that planet. Unfortunately, they had had to leave some of their tech behind. At least it was gene-locked and the natives couldn’t use it for anything more than talismans or, if mood suited them, bludgeons.

The bad news that came with that was that their tech was gene-locked and the Society for the Protection of Societies was going to be on their collective asses if they ever found out.

The big question, however was, “How the heck did they become a cargo cult if we’re the first humans to go there?” which Tamika helpfully asked.

“That,” said Captain Shanice, “is a question we can log in our defence.”

In a hidden temple, far underneath where the natives had built their ‘space lasso’, was the most sacred of their sacred objects. A holy ancestor had tried to catch a star, so the story went, and seized this.

Most of it was sort of octagonal, but the important part was a carefully-polished plaque. Maintained and worshiped as a holy message.

On it was a picture of the device, and two nude humans, and a stylised star, or what could have been a star, if one didn’t notice the binary notation of the rays

And a small depiction of a solar system.

One of Humanity’s messages to the cosmos.

It was a pity that the natives read it as a menu order from the Gods.

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