Challenge #00519 - A144: Unreasoning Profits

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

-George Bernard Shaw

If he doesn’t blow himself up in the process.

-Anonymous — c/- RecklessPrudence

Ax’and’l often struggled to find something nice to say about the human race. His usual compromise, that they were profitable mammals, did not always make it seem like enough of a boon.

Especially when Hwell had managed to wander off and get into one of his… escapades.

When he was done swearing, Ax’and’l often swore that he could feel his life shortening. He wanted to rail and cry at the statistics stating that species who had involved relationships with humans lived longer and healthier lives. He wanted to leave Hwell on the statisticians’ laps as Exhibit A as to why their statistics counted worse than damn lies.

But humans had a knack for seeing past the self-evident, which was both blessing and a curse. Sex aids on one planet became repackaged cooking supplies on another. Despicable toys for adults became a plaything for little children. Instruments of death became tools for civilisation.

And predators… became harmless pets.

Humans were also the only known species with a Luck gene. It came with the caveat of spectacular accident and Ax’and’l repeatedly checked Hwell for it following one of his usual unmitigated ur-disasters. Hwell was not a Lucker, despite all evidence to the contrary.

He just had a phenomenally scary impersonation of one.

And he was consistently profitable. Even when they had to pay for the damages.

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