Challenge #00472 - A097: The Element Bullshittium

Any sufficiently advanced [magic/science/SCIENCE!] is indistinguishable from bullshit. – RecklessPrudence

It glowed, but it wasn’t radioactive. It could be made at home with an array of equipment that absolutely, positively, had to include a Theremin and a Jacob’s ladder. And for the creator to wear a colander on their head.

It had been scientifically proven to be so.

A single mote could power any old car currently capable of running. Plug some into a power point and it could run an entire neighbourhood.

And it could make computers work magic that they were previously incapable of. It could make them, for example, enlarge four pixels into a high-definition poster of crystal clarity.

And it got its name from it’s primary processing ingredient.

Cow dung.

The best stuff, of course, came from the dung of a male cow. Nobody knew why.

Which was why the inventor, a guy named Kev down the road, called it Bullshittium.

It was sufficiently advanced magic. And unfathomable science. And no matter what smarter minds had to say about it, it worked.

Kev down the road, being smarter than many other Kev’s his age, had the sense to fortify both himself and his house with the stuff before he made its existence public knowledge. He knew what the assembled global governments would do to him if he didn’t.

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