Challenge #00397 - A032: Performance Peace

The much anticipated performance piece entitled, ‘Ask a Rude Question, Get an Honest Answer’

Naturally, it was a human who did it. The Galactic Congress, just getting used to the idea of humans as a recognised cogniscent and not a dangerous animal, attended in droves.

Even the common throng, who usually avoided ambassadorial exhibitions like the plague, attended.

Every performance was guaranteed to be unique, because every audience was a mixture of the curious and the vocal alike.

The artist sat in a comfy chair with small snacks and a bottle of water, and gave the audience leave to ask any question they like. And, more to the point, she had to answer honestly.

Some were baffling, (“Why are you endothermic?” or “Why are you insane?” or “If you’re a mammal, where is your fur?”) some were invasive, (“How do you have sex?” or “Is your excrement as acidic as your stomach?” or “Why do you predate on everything?”) and some… were just silly.

“Why are toenails?”

Nevertheless, the human answered. “Our tree-going forebears found an adequate grip to be of greater use than claws.”

“Why ever-growing fur?”

“Our hair? We were partially aquatic and remain so. The hair serves a double purpose as insulator and cooling apparatus.”

And finally, “How did human?”

The audience leaned forward, as one being. Watching the human artist contemplate the question.

She got up. Paced around her comfy chair, cradling her microphone as if it were an infant. Masticated some nuts. paced from one end of the stage to the other and, at last, when inspiration struck, she sat back down.

Her answer was: “Evidently.”

That performance won five standing ovations.

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