Challenge #00375 - A010: Animal Associate

The concept of pets is an odd one to explain, although firsthand experience tends to fill in the gaps you can’t quite articulate. And when pets are involved experience is going to happen whether it is planned or not.

Jane figured she should get used to aliens feeling her. They didn’t mean to be rude, she knew. They were just curious.

But, she swore to God, if one more of them tried to taste her hair…

One of her lizard shipmates sniffed the pet-carrier that was part of her belongings.

“Live food?” it queried.

“Not food,” she insisted. “Friend.”

Sniff snuff snuffle. “Smells food.”

The only language they shared was Broken GalStand. “Friend. Not food. Is…” she fumbled for the right words. “Animal associate.”

“Not smart?”

Jane considered the dickbaggery that Whittington, her cat, got up to on a daily basis. “Not smart. Friend animal. Never food. You eat, I get mad. You eat, I get sad. You eat, I charge.”

The lizard got its nose too close to Whittington’s cage and, true to form, Whittington sunk a claw into the lizard’s left nostril.

“YEEEEE! Predator! Predator not food!”

Whittington tried to bat at the lizard through the hole in his cage.

Word would get around, of course. But, just in case, “I tell captain of animal associate. Say to tell all.”

“Wise,” nodded the lizard. “Smart.”

“You go doctor. Get fix. Yes?”

“Yes,” echoed the lizard. As it left, she heard what was probably a lot of lizard curses.

She’d pick them up in due course.

Whittington became labled as an unsafe animal and linked to Jane in short order. It was up to her to provide educational videos about cats in general and Whittington in particular. Those lessons included Catspeak, proper handling, what to do if bitten (because cat saliva and lizard blood did not mix well), and active discouragement.

After the fifth crewman lost their tail, the word very quickly got around about Whittington. Crewmembers began to carry around water-pistols for self defence.

It was when Whittington figured out the ‘good’ prey on board that his reputation grew. Especially when the Captain caught him playing with some vermin on the bridge.

Evidently, casual feline cruelty was not as amusing to the lizards as it was to Jane.

And that was how the one about humans keeping dangerous animals for personal amusement got around…

If Jane had owned a terrier, things may have turned out worse for humanity.

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