Challenge #00279: Welcome Walter's Metal Men
Steam Powered Giraffe are in the x-verse, only they’re really mechanical men (made by someone with Forge-like skill) or living-metal mutants (similar to Colossus). Your choice.
“Sara… What the hell?”
“Dun ma'e me smi'e…” Sara said, drawing on her face with metallic paint. She was wearing, amongst other things, a corset, a frilly skirt, striped stockings, and accessories apparently made of gears.
“You know you can just program your holographic emitter to do whatever, don’t you?” criticized Jean.
“Or train myself to make my skin do all the makeup work, yes,” said Sara. “But that’s cheating.”
Jean rolled her eyes and groaned.
“This, on the other hand, is art.” She changed brushes from bronze makeup to silver makeup. There was also verdigris greens and blues, black, and assorted powders. And also some mysterious plastic parts and theatrical glue. “I have a white coat and a blue wig if you want to come along…”
“As…?”
“A Walter Girl. Minimal makeup involvement. Most freshman fans turn up as Walter Girls and Boys.”
“Fans of what?”
“Steam Powered Giraffe, of course.”
Jean almost broke a synapse trying to figure out what reality Sara was speaking from. “I’m coming along, but only to keep an eye on you.”
“Funny, that’s just what Mr Logan said…”
*
“LA DA DA DA DA! LA DA DA DA DA!”
Logan had already installed his own earplugs. The fact that he already owned a vintage outfit was only slightly disturbing in comparison to the fact that the ‘robots’ on the stage were actually metal people.
They’d put a lot of work into seeming to be people dressed up as robots, but they had no telepathic presence.
They were things.
True, actual, vintage robots.
Whoever Colonel Walter was, he was a Forge-level genius.
Jean barely had any advance warning of the attempted robbers, and was just able to warn every organic life-form in the room to duck.
Bullets ricochetted harmlessly off of the three robots on stage.
“That wasn’t very nice,” said Rabbit.
“That wasn’t very nice at all,” agreed Hatchworth.
“Shall I -uh- take 'em down, gentlebots?” offered The Spine.
“Let’s get 'em together,” said Hatchworth.
“One,” said The Spine.
“Two,” added Hatchworth.
“Threeeeeee!” Rabbit cackled.
Their website story had said they also contained weapons. That was not a lie. For all their technological seniority, they had precision aim and deliberately fired to incapacitate.
The crowd went wild.
Jean boggled. “You knew?”
“Of course we knew. They only pretend to be organic for the newbies in the audience.” Sara smiled. “Guess who had a hand in making them their flesh suits?”
Of course. The only mutant in the room with experience in shedding her own skin. “So you’re the one who made Bunny a girl?”
“No, she specifically requested it. She’s always been a girl. It’s just that she hasn’t had her chassis upgraded yet. Or is it returned to original specs? There’s a long story involving a theft of the original plans and trying to raise the funds to go find them. These 'bots are still paying off their refurbishment by Waltercorp.”
“That’s a real thing?”
“Ask Tony Stark. Or Forge.” Sara twirled away to dance with the other 'fanbots’ in the audience.
The night was only starting to get weird.
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