89.8

That’s my weight, this morning. I’m finally down to sniffing distance of my target weight.

After my personal disaster cascade [see earlier posts about me tripping on a chair], I honestly believed I would be battling weight problems and increasing weight until such time as I could actually walk again.

What I forgot is that I would also be less inclined to get up and grab another snack.

Here’s my regime - or what passes for one. Note that I do not recommend this to anyone.

* Wake up, battle forces of lethargy with the argument that one cannot bear to lie down any longer.

* Grab crutches. Hobble to bathroom. Take medication.

* Morning ablutions. Check weight while still clad in knickers. Note date, weight, weight to lose until goal reached, theory on why this is so, and how much up or down.

* Get dressed. Grab crutches. Hobble to computer. Get some blogging done before it’s time to wake the kids.

* Grab crutches. Hobble into Eldest’s bedroom. Wake eldest. Make sure he: feeds dog, preps breakfast, wakes youngest, feeds youngest, eats for himself, preps lunches, gets dressed for school, helps youngest get dressed, gets shoes and socks on for both, packs lunches/homeworks in bags, and gets the bags zipped up. Most of this is achieved sitting down. And yelling a lot.

* Sometime during the previous step, grab crutches. Hobble into kitchen. Prepare chia drink of cordial, chia, and water. Get Eldest to carry it to computer. Hobble back to computer and continue barking at kids to get them ready. And try to achieve breakfast for oneself.

* Grab crutches. Hobble to front room, don shoes, socks, and any athletic braces needed for supremely painful joints. I have one for each wrist, and two elastic bandages - they’re ‘wild’. And yes, I have used all four at once.

* Get eldest to restrain hound whilst I grab crutches, hobble to car. Get kids in car. Get kids to school.

* Come home, grab crutches, hobble to dog. Free dog. Hobble back indoors.

* Extract plastic bag from pocket, place inside 1 apple jelly &spoon, one daily ration of chocolate, and a couple of muesli bars. Carry same to computer.

* Work on various projects [FYI: One Minecraft adventure map, four novels, several stories of indeterminate length and potentially infinite fanfics.] until it’s time to get the kids home. Snack as needed. Drink chia drink.

* Grab crutches, hobble to hound. Restrain hound. Hobble to car. Drive to school. Wait in parking lot for kids. Harangue Eldest re: things he’s forgotten. FINALLY get rolling back home.

* Grab crutches, hobble indoors, chasing kids in also. Make sure Eldest frees dog, closes car.

* Make sure Eldest preps dinner, does homework. Make sure Youngest also does homework. Work on projects in-between progress checks.

* Make sure dishwasher loaded and going, washing machine/dryer likewise.

* Have dinner when ready. Do not have seconds.

* At bathtime, get Eldest to run bath, help Youngest. Grab crutches, hobble to bathroom once it’s time for bed. Get kids out of tub, dry, dressed, in bed. Hobble to own bedroom.

* Divest self of bracers, clothing. Change into night attire. Take medication. Sleep.

That’s pretty much my day, during weekdays. During weekends, I usually try not to do anything harder than typing. And I have to try and remember to eat. I spent this past Saturday not eating a damn thing.

Must hobble. Time to wake the kids.